Nikhil's Blog

Envy is far more common than we admit, because it rarely shows up looking like envy. It's in the backhanded remark about someone else. It's in the way people vent about the latest Apple product online. It's in the cruelty strangers throw at each other on social media. It's in the whining to friends. It's in praise dressed up with self-pity. It's in calling someone else "lucky" the moment they succeed. It's in the tightness in your chest when someone with less status or money than you pulls…

Self-loathing feels like honesty. It's actually just an old habit repeating itself. If you were criticised for every small mistake as a child, you keep criticising yourself as an adult. You never learned to sort a real mistake from a normal need. So wanting love becomes a mistake too. You decide love isn't for you, and you stop asking. Self-loathing is good at one thing: keeping you small. It keeps you from ever admitting you get hurt. It looks like discipline because it comes from the same…

Most people who say a book bores them are lying. Not on purpose. They're lying to themselves. Boredom doesn't really exist the way people think it does. It's not a property of a book. It's the absence of stimulation, and only idle people feel it. Someone busy with the rest of their life doesn't stop mid-day and announce they're bored. They don't have the space for it. Boredom shows up when there's nothing pulling your attention forward, and people blame the book for it instead of themselves. If…

There are some relationships which appear as if they were designed by God himself. They appear romantic; their love keeps growing with time. They are least bound by worldly desires and instead focused on making each other happy by any means. Everybody wants such a relationship, but they don’t yet understand its essence. A man is seen as a natural provider. Someone who takes care of things. Someone who doesn’t mind dealing with the harsh realities of the world so his family can remain safe and…

I have been watching a lot of movies from what is considered the Golden Age of Hollywood—the early ’30s and ’40s—and I was fascinated by Ingrid Bergman. I think she is the most beautiful actress I have ever seen on screen. Absolutely gorgeous, but it wasn’t just that. Her acting, her expressions, the way she conveyed her emotions—all of it kept me, as a viewer, completely hooked to the screen. So I went down the rabbit hole, reading everything I could about her story. Her life began with…

It is natural to find yourself in a situation where some people hate you for reasons of their own. They might dislike you for picking a side. They might hate you for not showing them the same courtesy they believe they deserved. They might even hate you for genuine reasons because you are, in fact, a bad person. Regardless of their reasons, you would rarely agree that hating you is the right thing to do or that you deserve their hatred. You need to understand that a group requires a common…

Tragedies are inevitable in life. Some tragedies cripple you, literally and mentally. Some break you so badly that there is no will left to continue. They disrupt the rhythm of life so completely that, no matter what you do, finding that rhythm again becomes the only thing that matters, yet it feels impossible. Your values, your will, your idea of life, your understanding of the world—everything shatters to a point where you are left with absolutely nothing. Being aware of this inner…

One of the ways to make your life more interesting is to take up a challenge. Give yourself a goal that is achievable but challenging, and commit yourself to it. It should not be so far-fetched that you lose motivation, nor should it be so small that you accomplish it effortlessly. A simple fitness goal that requires you to be disciplined for a few months is what most people pick because it falls into this exact sweet spot. It makes people believe that they can achieve the goal without losing…

People always know how to make room for those who matter to them. They will find ways to adjust their lifestyle to accommodate you. They will find time to dedicate to you. They will always figure out a solution to every problem just to be with you. There are no exceptions to this rule. Your texts do not go unanswered every time if you matter to someone. Your calls will be picked up. You will receive warmth from the other end every single time. This is the normal behaviour of someone who cares…

My relationship with food has always been hit or miss. I don’t know what to eat. I know how much to eat, thankfully. This has protected me from getting fat. I grew up with very limited options for food; we weren’t that rich. We never had to worry about what to prepare for dinner. The worry was where the food would come from. From that point, I grew up to have abundance. I can have anything I want, from any expensive restaurant I can think of. But the hunger has disappeared. I don’t have any…

Out of all the people we have ever met in life, how many are we still talking to? Out of all the people we befriended, how many are still close to us? The ratio is depressingly low. It’s close to one percent, and even less for some. If the number is higher than five percent, you are either lucky or exceptionally good at maintaining relationships. The death of relationships is more common than we think, yet we dread the idea of being separated from people. This is the one thing we are remarkably…

Tracking your time is absolutely necessary if you are someone who likes to do too many things. If you like to read books over the weekend, spend time with family, watch a movie, catch up with friends, and still get in a decent workout, then you need to learn how to allocate your time. This may sound like a bit of an overstretch, but it isn’t. A single phone call spanning an hour can disrupt the entire chain of events for you. A casual message can pull you back into work, taking away a couple of…

Have you ever wondered how you met the people who are now so important to you? The nuance of those moments was so subtle that, had you missed it, you might not have the people you have today. You almost feel like it’s serendipity doing the work. There’s no way you could have planned it. The best friendships don’t happen over planned meet-ups, group projects, or team-bonding activities. They happen over something ridiculous and random. When I talk to the people I like and hear their stories, I…

Remember when people you haven’t spoken to in a long time suddenly call to check on you? You feel confused, delighted, even guilty that you misunderstood them, so you engage with them with your heart open. Then, subtly, they slide in the real reason they called. You realise the whole charade was for that one purpose, and you hate yourself for falling into the trap. I have a disgust for people who use such tactics. They think they are being strategic, but everyone can see through them. They are…

When you have poured your heart into building something but there’s no applause waiting for you, do you break down completely or resent the world for not appreciating you? Would you do it all over again? I have struggled with this question a lot. In creative pursuits, it is easier to fall in love with the craft, so you don’t care whether the applause comes or not. The craft is enough. Routine life is not that simple. I have a habit of pouring my heart into everything I do because I want things…

If you have been working on a long-term project but struggle to finish it, one way to force yourself to see it through is to leave your current environment. It’s not practical for every situation, but it can work when you are too comfortable in the routine of your everyday life. Go to a faraway hill station and work from there for a month. These days, especially in India, you can find places with good internet, three meals a day, on-call services and serene surroundings. Spend the month working…

If you are in your thirties, you don’t have much of a career left. Whether AI will replace your job or not, your willingness to work for a company will certainly diminish. There is also a possibility that you will be replaced by people younger, smarter, and more energetic than you—people who still have more hunger to succeed, and more years to offer than you do. I am thirty-six, and I don’t imagine myself being employed after fifty. And I am being very optimistic on the page. The supposedly…

There are two camps. One says, make money—it is life’s ultimate truth. The other says money makes you evil and corrupt. One says money makes people respect you. The other says relationships cannot be bought with money. One says people who claim money can’t buy happiness simply don’t know where to shop. The other says, try buying someone’s love with money. Both camps are right in a way. But my point isn’t whether you should dedicate your life to making more money. You don’t really have a choice…

A man who is focused on his self-improvement, one who is so engrossed in his own life, will often appear boring to the world. The definition of “interesting” often lies in excesses, as per someone else’s standards. You will notice that the people they call “interesting” know less, say more, do more random things, and are comfortable living their lives in this fashion. The man who introspects will often find himself at a crossroads. He will be observant of others and, in turn, of his own…

The Bhagavad Gita says that the most contented man is he who cares more about his actions or deeds and less about the fruits of those actions. He finds joy in the action itself, and so whether the fruits arrive or not cease to matter. He has already found fulfilment in the act of performing the action. And if that action is in accordance with his true nature and his duty, then he will eventually find contentment in his life. This is perhaps the most debatable part of the Bhagavad Gita because…

You are judged by how you make others feel. We focus too much on making the best first impression, but part of an initial impression is also how others feel in your presence. One way to achieve this is by leveraging a polite tone and genuine courtesy. This is one of the most strategic levers because it highlights your mental strength. Talking politely to someone cannot be faked beyond a point. It means processing the information in your mind, along with the emotions that emerge from that…

A lot of people struggle with managing their emotions and blame themselves for making emotional decisions rather than rational ones. But first of all, there is no such thing as a purely rational decision. A decision that benefits you in the long term is usually considered rational and “practical.” Emotional decisions, by contrast, are often short-term because emotions are, in essence, short-term feedback loops. We resort to willpower to control our emotions. We restrict ourselves from feeling…

All our lives, we try to figure out the best possible way to live. We are constantly caught in the conundrum of whether to betray a friend to rise to the top or to remain true to our ethics. We struggle to answer whether being ethical has any real benefit at all. There is no divine reward for being ethical throughout your life. There is no afterlife where you will be judged by how you lived, how many people you helped, or how much love you spread. These are religious notions handed down through…

I have been writing consistently here for a year now. You can go back a year and find one essay published every single day without fail. I have broken a lot of the writing advice that gets thrown around on social media, except for one piece of advice—and that is something I didn’t learn from social media. Social media is filled with advice about maintaining a swipe file of ideas. They tell you to keep track of trending topics. Write about subjects that are most likely to go viral. Write on…

There is no state in a human being’s life where you are truly satisfied with what you have. Climbing Mount Everest is easier by comparison because you know where to stop. There is a peak, and every aspiration eventually ends there. You take the contentment of the climb, store it in your memories, and never want to try it again because what would be the point? But in life, there is no peak. All peaks exist only in your mind. You achieve one thing only to discover that there is more. And so the…

Feeling saturated with life is inevitable. You are bound to feel cramped and bored with everything you do repeatedly. Like monkeys, we are wired to seek novelty, and we constantly attempt to find it in the world around us. Almost anything you do repeatedly is eventually bound to make you less grateful for the reward. A good relationship feels boring after a while. A session at the gym feels boring. Sitting down at a blank page to write every day feels boring. But this saturation does not mean…

Everybody says beating short-form addiction is necessary. There are studies showing how harmful it can be to the body and mind. But nobody talks about how to actually quit the short-form addiction, especially TikTok and Instagram Reels. The epidemic is so widespread that people have even started building apps that mimic the functions of TikTok and Reels, but supposedly deliver useful content instead. In India, TikTok is banned, and I hardly ever used Instagram Reels. I am not into posting…

You become what you tell yourself through repetition. This advice is psychologically true. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You believe something that influences how you act, and how you act determines the outcome, which is usually in accordance with your belief. Act like a leader, and they will eventually start treating you like one. But it isn’t always so easy. Some days, it’s impossible to believe in yourself. Everything feels so heavy that moving one leg out of the room, attempting to…

You need to practice living without the things you love. If you love food, you need to fast for a day, or spend a week without indulging in your favorite dishes. If you cannot live without books, you should spend a month living without them. If you cannot live without someone, if you think you are addicted to someone, then you must definitely learn to live without them. Do things that do not involve them. You must experience the blank space in your head that emerges when you are forced to…

It’s tough to survive in corporate life if you don’t have someone who makes your day. It gives you a reason to wake up and look forward to going to a place that seems designed to keep you demotivated. Wage labour is perhaps the most depressing thing to have happened to mankind. Yet, it has also given people the leverage to do bigger things, lift themselves out of generational poverty, and find hope in life. The method, however, is designed to kill you slowly. Not just your personality, but your…