Nikhil's Blog

Relationships feel rewarding on some days and challenging on others. On some days, you feel you have someone with whom you can let loose. On others, you realise you cannot be yourself, lest the fight continue. Some days feel harder because, no matter what you do, the argument refuses to end. So, most people accept that you have to be a little fake to survive a relationship. They start hiding their true feelings from their significant other. They become agreeable to avoid fights, making sure…

How do you become more likable? It’s simpler than you think. Genuinely becoming someone people like is a subject unto itself. It takes real effort. Real self-improvement. Real personal growth. And a whole lot of spine to stand firm in your values. But there is a simpler approach you can adopt: never say anything that contradicts people. Easier said than done. People seem to take offence at the smallest things these days. So you have to learn which opinions are likely to rub them the wrong way.…

Sometimes, you feel physically better with someone. You know there’s a spark between you, a chemistry so perfect it feels almost unreal. Even though you aren’t exactly in a relationship, the spark never lets you stay away from each other. There’s a pull you cannot define. It makes you do stupid things sometimes, but you don’t regret them because that’s what such attraction does to you. There is no definitive name for this feeling. How would you define a feeling where you cannot stop thinking…

When we are in love with someone, we observe everything about them. We notice every little thing. What bothers them. What makes them happy. What irks them. We try to learn them, one day, one moment at a time. We are so consumed by them that even our thoughts are filled with them. We replay the moments we spend together, interpreting what their actions might have meant. Then we stop doing that. There comes a point when we have them, and we stop noticing them. We no longer pay attention to their…

There is no way we can quit social media now. We are too entrenched in it. Just as we cannot live without smartphones, we cannot live without social media apps. There is no point in debating it anymore. That discussion was relevant a decade ago; now, it’s pointless. There are generations that have grown up on social media and have no clue what it’s like to live without it. We can improve the way we consume content, though. Instead of consuming everything through video, we can train our brains…

I don’t know if there is a God in this world. I am trying to figure that out myself. I do think that the ultimate path to God is the discovery of truth. God is truth, and in truth lies God. I am not a profound religious thinker. I don’t know the shape or size of God. That is also why I don’t think I am lucky. I don’t believe in something called luck. There is serendipity. There are lucky coincidences, whatever that means. But I do believe I am blessed. Being lucky means experiencing an event…

We are always in a race to figure people out. We want to know quickly whether they are worth trusting. Whether we can rely on them. Whether they are who they say they are. Our first instinct is to distrust people, so we can protect ourselves from getting hurt. That is the whole game. Protecting ourselves. The need to trust someone stems from our desire to be vulnerable with them. To be honest with them. To share our rawest selves with them. So we can tell them what we truly feel and what we…

Intuition is often hyped up as something mystical that only a few people possess. Some call it a gut feeling. Some call it a sixth sense. Others call it an evolutionary instinct. There is no precise definition that adequately explains intuition. Intuition is something everybody has experienced. We have often been saved from making bad decisions because we had a feeling about something and chose to follow it. Over time, people began to believe that intuition is the universe guiding your hand.…

I have always struggled with morality. Not that I am immoral from a societal standpoint. I am amoral—not because I have no morals, but because I don't see morality as absolute. I do have values and principles, and I follow them, but I am not rigid about them. For me, the person matters more than the values we hold. For me, the person matters more than the values we hold. I know I shouldn’t fall in love with someone, but there’s no way in hell I can control who I fall in love with. All I can…

In psychology, they say there are five stages to dealing with grief: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. The order is interchangeable. It depends on who you are as a person and your emotional template. This is the most clinical way to look at grief. It almost assumes that if you know the stages in advance, dealing with grief and loss becomes easier. You can analyse your feelings and tell which stage you are in right now. If you are feeling angry, you know you are in the early…

When you are in a place where perception matters, act as if you are always under observation. Especially in organisations or environments where an opinion can shape your future, it is important to influence that opinion through deliberate mannerisms. “Be yourself” is poor advice because, for those who are often misunderstood in initial impressions, it can backfire in ways that harm them. You cannot be yourself in every context and every environment. Besides, what if you are mediocre? Assuming…

Severing ties with someone is easy. Ensuring those ties remain broken is hard. Initially, your anger fuels the momentum. You make decisions. You do what is required to burn the bridges. Then, a few days later, you can no longer feel the same rage toward the person. Anger fades away. It is natural. This is why most people get back together with the same person they were tired of. Being with them feels more comfortable than being without them, unless there is a specific trigger that forces you to…

Artificial intelligence has become a part of our lives. Whether you want it to or not. Regardless of what name it is called by, it’s not going to disappear just because some people are crying about it. The world has changed completely. From here onwards, the world will be seen as before AI and after AI. You can either sit and cry about it, or you can decide how to use it as leverage. No matter what profession you are in. No matter what stage of life you are at. You need a subscription to at…

Appearance plays a key role in how people perceive you. How seriously they take you. And how much respect they extend to you. It shouldn’t be the case, but it is. We are all biologically wired to judge a book by its cover because the cover is the first data point we receive, and our minds want to make a decision as quickly as possible. But there’s more to it than just quick judgment or stereotyping. A person who pays attention to his hygiene and grooming habits can generally be trusted with…

A sensitive mind is a curse sometimes. You remember everything. That remark someone made. How they made it. How much emphasis they placed on which word. What their expression was while saying it. How many jokes they made at your expense. How much they were relishing it. How many people were genuinely laughing at it. It feels like a curse. It affects how you deal with people too. You notice them more deeply. How they say things. Whether they meant them. How much they want you. The gap between…

Most people are turning out to be absolute machines. They are fed just one program and one purpose for that program: to win the entire world. To keep chasing things. To win every race, no matter the cost they have to pay. When you are wired to think in only one direction—that you have to get that promotion, win that deal, buy that latest car, or own that house—you naturally eliminate a lot of good things from your life without even realising it. Nothing can be achieved without eliminating…

Some people are perpetually preoccupied with getting the most out of every situation. Their minds are constantly devising new schemes: manipulating people, exaggerating their own achievements while undermining those of others, twisting narratives in their favour by any means necessary, and cultivating relationships purely for strategic advantage. To them, everything is a means to an end. No person is truly important, and no value is sacred. There is no depth to which they wouldn't stoop to get…

People are people, and they will always disappoint you. Sooner or later, they will find a way to do so. There are no exceptions. You will be disappointed by your parents, your partners, your children, and almost everyone else you encounter in life. That disappointment will hurt. It will force you to reassess your understanding of the world. Every such experience will trigger a sense of hopelessness within you, making you question whether there is anyone out there with whom you can truly be…

There are times when you feel trapped in a relationship you want to end but cannot. You find yourself caught in a cycle of not wanting to hurt people while desperately wanting to get away from them. This behavioural pattern is easy to recognise, and people often take advantage of it. They guilt-trip you into staying, even when your presence in the relationship makes you miserable. The cycle is vicious. In game theory, there is a strategy known as burning bridges. It involves making a commitment…

I am realising that I have met a lot of people in my life, but not all of them are still a part of it. It is easy for me to socialise with people, crack a few jokes and be kind to them. But opening up to people is an entirely different matter, especially when it comes to expressing my emotional side. I have managed to be candid with only a handful of people, and those are the ones who have stayed in my life. Yet, when I count the people I know and those I casually call my friends, the number is…

Hindu scriptures say that the world is a temporary place. All your feelings, accomplishments, failures, connections, and desires are an illusion. These things cease to matter the moment you die. The only thing that matters is the connection of your soul to the Brahman. This analogy doesn’t sit well with people, but it will hit home once you bring it down to individual environments. Think about your corporate office. The politics, the friendships, the work, the affairs, the desires, the…

Being good enough is not enough. Others must also know that you are good. But you are never going to be the absolute best. There will always be someone better than you. Such is the world. In that case, all you have to do is be more popular than the person who is better than you. That’s how brands always win. The brands at the top aren’t necessarily the best ones. They are there because they won the race for popularity. Social media has made this abundantly clear. You will often find the best…

Emotional intelligence is getting a lot of attention these days, thankfully so. But very few people talk about emotional temperament. There are people who think that just because they are hurt, or because they are going through a difficult phase in life, they have the right to treat others with disdain. This is particularly common in relationships. One person is in a bad mood and starts yelling at their partner and children. Everyone else has to walk on eggshells because somebody is having a…

Pain earns compassion. It does not earn a claim on other people. When someone tells you about their suffering, compassion comes naturally. A man gives twelve hours a day to his job while his personal life falls apart, and his boss says there is nothing special about that. Another man takes care of everyone at home, and no one there cares how he feels or whether he exists at all. You listen, and you want to help. But you can only offer so many suggestions. Beyond that, you have no control over…

Imagine you have spent days preparing for something you care about. You have thought through every detail, made your plans, rehearsed what you need to do, and invested time and effort into making it work. And then, at the last moment, the plan falls apart. The project gets cancelled. The presentation is called off. Someone changes their mind. Circumstances shift. All the preparation that went into it suddenly seems to have been for nothing. This happens more frequently than we think. Yet we can…

We are all frauds. We cry about objectivity, but we never practice it in the truest sense. Because there is no way to bypass your emotions and remain rational—unless you have outsourced your decision-making to a system or a preexisting framework. Almost none of us truly believe in systematic thinking. All the talk of mental models exists only on paper or in a book. Fun to read, but never to implement. We are all looking for hacks to bypass the ordeal of figuring out the right decision. We want…

Every single leader gets mocked behind their back. Your school teachers, the professor at the university, your parents, and even your manager at the corporate office. Everybody gets mocked and gossiped about by people. And yet, their approval is often the very thing those people crave the most. Not all mocking is the same, and you should never take it seriously enough to change your personality. A lot of mocking is a coping mechanism. They cannot read a book, so they mock the person who does.…

I have been writing for a while now. Most of the time, I write about whatever is going through my head—my thoughts, my feelings, and my opinions. These are usually fleeting because emotions and circumstances keep changing, and so do the thoughts associated with them. I write when a feeling is particularly strong, only to find myself feeling something entirely different a few days later. I often go back and read my older essays. It does two things: it highlights how sporadic my thought process…

When you are preparing data, a presentation for your boss, or an important conversation, it is natural to plan every detail. You want to think through the eventualities, anticipate questions, and be prepared for what might come. But there is a point where preparation stops helping and starts getting in the way. Too much planning can take away the spontaneity that makes a conversation natural. You start planning the exact words, the exact sentences, and even the order in which everything should…

There is a particular freedom in not feeling anything. Not overthinking every conversation. Not replaying those old insults. No allegiance to the moral standards that the world has created for you. Everything that was handed down to you from childhood has been dismantled. You did it on your own, gradually, one pillar at a time. It is a liberating feeling. You are no longer tied to your past. The old memories no longer hurt you with the same intensity. This sounds harder at first, but it is…