Happily Imperfect

He’s not 5 yet, and we stop for a lot of little rests, but hearing him “wheeeeee” down hills makes my soul soar and my heart sing. Thanks for reading and keeping RSS alive. Visit my site for more.

What’s a song you associate with your biggest mistake? We’ve all been there. That sense of feeling stuck in a situation of our own making, of knowing that we need to change something but holding on to it with the hope of what you thought you had, what you thought you’d get. It’s easily my biggest mistake, which I’ve repeated a couple of times. I have a habit of “what if”ing. Some of the time, it’s negative, most of the time it’s positive, it’s dreaming up what my life could be like, imagining a…

It’ll be wasp season soon —he says, well aware that the very idea of “seasons” is an increasingly futile one— and so any slight buzzing has me frantically scanning for something, anything, I can use as a weapon. I don’t think I’ve ever told the story of when I was stung. It was, I think, my Mum’s birthday. I can recall helping my Dad organise a surprise holiday for her around that time too. A special birthday then, her 60th? Anyway, they’d booked a meal for friends and family to celebrate, and…

What song makes you want to write poetry? Has to be Guy Garvey, a wonderful weaving wordsmith. And while there are many songs to choose, and while I already feel the tears creeping to my eyes, it has to be Scattered Black & Whites. Why? This is why: Been climbing trees I’ve skinned my knees My hands are black, the sun is going down She scruffs my hair in the kitchen steam She’s listening to the dream I weaved today Crosswords through the bathroom door While someone sings the theme-tune to the…

Apropos of nothing, a list. Roughly ordered. The West Wing Severance The Sopranos The Thick of it Blackadder Mr. Robot Hannibal Slow Horses Luther Frasier Breaking Bad 24 Fawlty Towers The Wire Gilmore Girls Red Dwarf Line of Duty The Office (UK) Friends Ted Lasso Cracker The Studio Fleabag Only Fools and Horses The Detectorists Happy Valley The Bear Peep Show Thanks for reading and keeping RSS alive. Visit my site for more.

Share a song that captures the feeling of being brave. The album, News of the World, was a seminal moment for my youthful ears. I’d discovered a copy of Jazz in my parents record collection when I was around 10, and my Dad mentioned that I could probably find other albums by the band in the local library. News of the World was the first one I borrowed. A much more stripped back affair than the previous two albums (think Bohemian Rhapsody!), and with the rise of punk, the album has moments of…

Day 88. I think he sees it now. I thought as much last week but, for sure, this morning confirms it. 107.1 107.1 106.9 107.1 It’s consistent for sure. It’s a plateau. He forgets I can see that he’s gotten away from what he was doing. He’s eating a little less carefully, his exercise levels have dropped. I can see why too. Disheartened after the first week without any weight loss, out of kilter for the second —he knows he exercised a lot more but also ate more cake— and this last week has been a…

What’s a song you’d want to hear while watching the sunrise? Songs are memories. I was a bleary eyed 17 year old, pulling his first all-nighter. I’d visited clubs that are now legendary —Amnesia, Space, Ku— that at the time were just places to go and drink and dance and connect. Even as a horny teenager I kinda knew that those places weren’t for hooking up. They were for shared moments. I can’t recall which club it was we eventually stumbled out of, but suddenly night had retreated as the…

I am fifty-two. All the clichés are true. Time changes everything. That’s hardly a revelation to anyone older than me, and those of a similar vintage are probably nodding along with all the wisdom we’ve collated. We like to tell ourselves we’re ageing like fine wine, and I think there’s a little truth in that. I mean, we are ageing. One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed recently is something that hasn’t happened all at once. I realise now it’s been creeping up on me for years. Hindsight…

“All I Need” by Air & Beth Hirsch Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What’s a song you associate with your favorite photograph? We have black and white version of this framed on our wall. A quiet moment for Becca. A moment where our future is captured before it has arrived. I knew she was going to be a wonderful mother, and this image captures that for me, the love and care, of her future child and of nature, quietly, privately on display. All I needed was a…

Let me just say that again, because I can’t quite believe it. My son, our little bundle of joy and chaos, starts school today. He turns 5 in October and is very very ready for school. I think. No, he is. He is most definitely ready, and ohhh so excited. I’m not sure I am though. I mean it was only yesterday I was holding him, swaddled tight, moments after he was born, watching this tiny little squishy thing sucking on the edge of the towel. My son. I didn’t know I was going to have a son. We…

“This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)” by Talking Heads Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. Share a song that captures the feeling of being understood. I can’t recall what she said, not exactly, as we lay in bed facing each other, inches apart. We’d been talking for a while, enjoying being close to one another. It was dark now, the hours had slipped forward. We were still learning. Still harnessing our new relationship energy. Lying there, just being…

A weekly recap of the articles and posts I’ve read that I think are worth your time. Tech sucks: You have to vote with your wallet, or nothing will change – 82MHz — I enjoy Apple products. But I am aware of the “trap” I am in. Does that make me complacent? Controlled? Less so or more so than those in the Android “trap”? The Clash of the Egosystems — “egosystem leaders are not motivated by thinking about us, shared ideals, or even technological progress. They’re inspired by market capture,…

A Japanese practice that involves spending time in a forest to promote relaxation and connect with nature. The term (森林浴) translates to “forest bath”. The idea of forest bathing —of taking time to be in nature, of slowing down and paying attention to the sights, sounds, colours and textures around you— is not a new one to me. But I never knew it had a name. Before Jack arrived, Becca did some courses and considered setting up some form of counselling/help service which would’ve been centred…

It’s a great topic. AI. Easy to dismiss. Easy to praise. But it isn’t everything. Not everything needs to be in comparison with it. Not every thought shared needs to take a stand for, or against, it. Not every article has to include a reflection on it. Sometimes you can just forget AI exists. Post the photo. Publish those thoughts. But don’t say that AI couldn’t have done this. Or AI wouldn’t do that. Or that it would be better with AI. Just let it go. Stop moaning about AI. Find a different…

“I Want You” by The Silencers Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What song makes you want to dance alone in your room? Many songs make me want to dance. Plunder my playlists for Basement Jaxx, Chemical Brothers, Disclosure. Visit my memories of 90s rap blaring from my car stereo. Grab my love of disco and my rendition of I Will Survive from a friends wedding. I love dancing, I love losing myself in the music and moving my body. I don’t do it enough. But I…

I have, technically, four bikes. My wife has, technically, four bikes. I say technically because I only use two of them, and she only uses one, although one of her other two is being kept for the future. We do not use all of these bikes. My bikes: A Triban road bike – my trusty steed! A Trek mountain bike – brand new. A Specialized Hybrid —bought in 2012— that is now costing me more to repair than it is worth, time to say bye bye. A Carrera road bike – bought secondhand as a cheap bike for my…

“The Cave” by Mumford & Sons Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What’s your favorite song about letting go? For all they have been pilloried, their first album was wonderful. My favourite track leapt out at me on my first listen, although it took a few more listens to figure out why. My first marriage was coming to an end, I think we both had started to feel it but hadn’t yet figured it out. In hindsight I put a fairly negative spin on something that wasn’t…

I’ve written about this before1. I like change. I also like routine. That puts next week at odds as, with Becca having started her new job as a teaching assistant and Jack starting school, the timings of my day will be changing. Bar Monday —his first day at school!— I’ll be doing drop offs in the morning and picking him up when he finishes at three. Two days a week he will be in early (breakfast club from 8:15am) and staying late for after school club until 5pm but, regardless my usual work…

“Little Fluffy Clouds” by The Orb Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What song makes you feel connected to nature? Nature, to me, is something to bask in, something to enjoy. I love spending time in nature, wandering through woods, cycling trails, but my earliest memories of connection to nature were formed in my childhood home. Summer evenings, a rug on the grass, the heat of the day simmering down, lying back and watching the sky. Acres of blue, spots of…

This is my rebuttal to a response of my response to a response about a post (Andreas, look what you’ve started!). One thing that the internet never fails to remind me of is that I tend to see the world in broad brush strokes whereas many see it in intricate detail and hold their view as unassailable. I say “there is no bad Porsche 911 model” meaning that even a bad one is still a freakin 911, and the comments light up with “well, actually the early built 1977 models were awful”, and I roll my…

“It's My Party” by Dave Stewart & Barbara Gaskin Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What’s a song you’d want to hear on your birthday? I can almost feel my wife rolling her eyes. I am not a fan of my birthday. Not for any age related denial reason, just because I feel long past the need to have any hoopla to celebrate the day —there is likely more deep seated reasons for that, likely something about never having felt validated and seen enough— but the fact…

When Jack goes to bed, some nights Becca and I find we have some time to chill out together. Right now we are using that time to rewatch Ted Lasso from the start before we start the new season. It’s such a comfort blanket of a show, brings such joy, and I forgot how good and funny it was. In the episode we watched last night the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer and gold, known as Kintsugi, gets a brief mention. It’s something I’ve heard about before, and I can recall losing…

“Movin' On Up” by Primal Scream Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What song makes you feel like you’re breaking free? Avoiding the Queen loaded phrasing of the question, I found myself wondering what breaking free actually feels like. As a completely unrepressed white male, the only things I’ve ever really broken free from were of my own making and tend to be accompanied with as much shame —that I got myself into that situation— as elation at being out of…

Dense Discovery is, and I’ll quote the lovely website here: One email worth opening, every week Thoughtful links across design, tech, culture and art – hand-picked weekly to inspire reflection, not reaction. And yes, you should go and subscribe right now (I’ll wait). I’ve been a subscriber since February 2023 and the eagle eyed among you may have noticed that I’ve mentioned DD a few times, usually linking to an article that has made me think and consider various actions and activities that form…

Via Matthew Cassellini as I tend not to follow or read much about Meta these days. Mark Zuckerberg has penned a very long manifesto on the future of AI. I’ve had a skim through it, then got bored and asked AI to generate a summary for me. It gave me this: “It is simultaneously a philosophy of AI and an extremely effective piece of corporate positioning.” “AI is going to become extremely powerful. We don’t think we should slow it down. We think it should be open and available to everyone, with…

Leaving sucks. But there’s no other way. As long as you keep throwing money at the corporations who treat you badly, why would they change? Andreas on 82MHz Apple got the message from me: I’m done with it, its products, and its services. I’m just one little drop in their trillions-valued bucket, but I’m content with that. Stan on Creolened I love a provocative title —so clickable!— and what better a topic to get our teeth into but technology, and Big Tech at that. To be fair, Big Tech companies…

“Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What’s your favorite song about second chances? As someone who often stares at a blank page, who tends to start new ventures by writing about them, and who has had many second chances throughout his life, I can feel the beginnings of that sense of “ok, let’s go again” in this song. The fact it is a glorious, uplifting, positive affirmation of grabbing that second chances, of using it to…

Rewatching the old seasons ahead of the new one. Wow. I forgot how good this was. The way each character develops, the moments of chaos and moments of calm. The way it feels so real, so fucking raw at times. And then there is the Christmas episode which remains a very easy way to get my blood pressure up. Not to mention the cast, the writing, the production, the soundtrack. When good TV is good, it can be the best. Thanks for reading and keeping RSS alive. Visit my site for more.

“Confess To Me (feat. Jessie Ware)” by Disclosure Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What song makes you want to stay up all night? It’s time to leave. Almost time to leave. But the music is still playing. The floor still pulsing. You aren’t that tired, are you? Maybe one more song. Ohh this is a good one. Right time go… wait, ok after this one! OK, definitely time to go. Except, is this a new mix? Ohh this is gooood. No, I need to go. Fine, one more song……