RichardHerring.com - Warming Up

8574/21493Whatever muscle I pulled in my side is still hurting, but I managed to fight through the pain to play tennis this morning. I had to play with less power and although I went 2-1 down and thought this might be the first time I lost a match in Hitchin, I adapted to a more gentle play which favoured accuracy over power and that worked out OK for me. I won 6-2, 6-0. Battling illness, injury and age and yet still triumphing like a God.

8573/21492As you know I don't like to talk about my charity work or my testicular cancer. Some things require discretion, but yesterday I did a gig for charity and my set was about testicular cancer and sadly for me, two negatives make a positive. So I was forced to write about it. And when I bought that (possibly) homeless man a sandwich and then wrote about it, I wasn't doing it for likes of subscriptions and knew it only meant anything if I mentioned it to no one.

8572/21491I was performing at a charity gig for testicular cancer in Bethnall Green tonight. Actually I think it was against testicular cancer. I don't really look at the cause. ANY gig for ANY charity and I am in.It ended up being quite a palaver getting there and back, as the trains to London were running much slower than usual. It took so long to get to London that I thought I might accidentally have got on the wrong train and I think we might have been travelling a different route than…

8571/21490Due to my mystery illness (not a mystery if you're a paid subscriber on Substack- start paying you coward) I was in hospital first thing to have a CT scan. I've had a few of these over the last five years, of course, so it was all in a day's work for me. I had a 9.

8570/21489Into London town again to record four podcasts in four hours at the Podcast Room. It was all kicking off at 11am, but I got there by 10ish and had a small second breakfast, as I figured I might not get time for lunch. I was meant to be doing prep for the interviews, but instead mainly waited on hold on the phone, as I'd had texts saying I had a hospital appointment tomorrow at 9.30am but no indication of which department it would be in or what it was for.

8569/21488Phoebe was going to a birthday party in Stevenage, so I dropped her off and took Ernie to play crazy golf at Mr Mulligans.It wasn't very busy but we found ourselves stuck between two birthday parties: in front of us about twelve boys of around 12 and behind us maybe seven girls of about the same age. They were all well behaved and polite, but we spent a lot of time waiting for the boys and making the girls wait for us. There wasn't really any way out of this trap, except to skip some…

8568/21487I tried to do Park Run, but my weird chest injury combined with unexplained fatigue meant I was in too much pain and I quit after a sluggish 1km. Catie did the whole thing, like a champ, but both of us were totally knackered for the rest of the day. We might have picked up a bug from the kids or maybe we're just not managing time off very well.I fell asleep in front of the FA Cup, which sounds like it might have been for the best and though we'd pitched staying up for Eurovision, I…

8567/21486I spent the day preparing for studio podcasts on Monday, reading books about growing older, life philosophy and death. All very enjoyable and thought provoking.I am going to be talking to Cally Beaton about her book Namaste Mother Fuckers which I suppose is mainly aimed at middle-aged women , but which resonated with me too. Our challenges may be slightly different, but I think most men become invisible as they get older and certainly have to cope with changes in their biology and…

8566/21485I managed to play tennis through my pain and my serve was slightly restricted (though I won every game I served). My tennis partner who has never won a set off me, is getting better and got 3-2 up in the first set. I then won every game to win 6-3, 6-0, but I think my days of predominance may soon be over. He's still in his 40s so if he can't beat me before July 12th 2027, he will be being defeated by a man in his 60s (who has [redacted] Paid subs know what this is).

8565/21484I played tennis for the first time in about 6 weeks today and though there was a definite decline in quality, I played adequately. At one point I reached over a bench to retrieve a ball with my racquet and it was a bit further away than I thought. I stretched a bit and it felt like the bench slightly gave way. But the weird sensation and pop that I had felt had actually happened within me. I'd pulled something in my chest. It hurt a little bit, but everything hurts a little bit now,…

8564/21483I had woken up super early and my eye was really hurting. I don't know if I had punched myself in the night or some kind of evil fairy had got into the room and put fairy dirt in there, but I was tired and grumpy. I drove the kids to school and really had to concentrate through the pain and fatigue. As long as I could get them there in one piece, it was fine. If I crashed and died on the way home then so be it. I was treating this like a doomed mission up Everest or like I was Captain…

8563/21482Into hospital today to try and get to the bottom of my low white blood count. I had thought the fact that no one had been in touch with me after my bone marrow extraction was probably good news, but actually no one had had a look at the results. Once prompted they suddenly seemed keen to give me a ring. And then suddenly decided to see me in person. So I had to drive to fucking Hertford to see a haematologist. Who'd want to specialise in blood? Better than specialising in balls, I…

8563/21482I am a big fan of Windmill Hill Park in Hitchin. It's a steep incline that I sometimes see people running up, but which currently leaves me out of breath if I walk up too quickly. There's a rainbow bench at the top and you can look down at Hitchin's main thoroughfare Hermitage Road and then or up at the surrounding countryside. I can't say too much about it yet, but it may get a mention or two in the Pottery show I am doing and every time I am up there it makes me want to draw stuff.

8562/21481First Park Run for five or six weeks and last time I did it, I quit at 3km and throughout March my times were around 34 minutes. I'd run 1km on Wednesday and then had to walk home, so I wasn't particularly confident about finishing this morning, especially as it was already pretty hot and the sun was beating down on us. Stop beating sun. Be more gentle. We're already in awe of you. You don't have to be so needy.Probably upset that fewer people worship it these days. You'll have your…

8561/21480It's the eight year anniversary of the day I found a toilet especially for me.I seem to have got more attractive since I was 50. But that might just have been a bad day. After dropping the kids off at school, I took Wolfie for her morning walk (honestly, I do everything in this family: the dishwasher, the bins... everything). She did a nice solid poop on a patch of ground outside someone's flat, but I was easily able to dispose of it. It was right next to where the cum bin used to be.

8560/21479A mildly complex school pick up today. Ernie was in clubs til 4.30pm but Phoebe was playing cricket. My understanding from the email I'd seen was that they were playing away at a school about 5 minutes away, but the match would end at 4.30pm. As it usually takes ten minutes or so to get Ernie to the car, this looked like a tricky mission. I could have opted to wait at the school for Phoebe to come back in the bus, but thought that might be trickier.But I rushed him away from his…

8559/21478Due to Easter and being in a play and being pretty knackered, I basically did no exercise in April. Also in the play I wore my own suit jacket for one scene and did a gag where I couldn't do up the button (by quite some distance), so I am keen to get back into getting mildly fit again. I went for a run before lunch and wasn't expecting to get far, but it felt pretty good to begin with. Maybe I could do 5k. Then I got to 1k and had to stop running and walk home. But it's a start.

8558/21477Tonight we watched last week's SNL UK with Phoebe. She's 11 and I don't know whether that makes us bad parents, but I was listening to Derek and Clive tapes from about the age of 12 (certainly by the time I was 14).And it was stuff like this that set me on the way to be the man I am today.....Oh God. We've made a terrible mistake.I don't know if my parents knew what I was listening to - I am pretty sure I bought the Derek and Clive cassettes myself from WH Smith (probably why they've…

8557/21476The electronic signs on the motorway occasionally read "Don't Drive Tired". Thanks for the advice pixelated sign and it's very easy for you to make that kind of judgement. But are you prepared to look after my kids for a week so I can get some sleep? Didn't think so. You're there when it comes to criticising me for sleepily weaving all over the road, but not so keen to help out when needed. Or if I am gigging for �£150 in Yorkshire, will you pay the �£160 bill for the…

8556/21475I took Ernie up the Gorge first thing as he wanted to go to the shop that sold fossils. Catie had asked him to count how many different species of flower he saw on the walk and he diligently took on this task. Getting to 200 by the time we got to Gough's cave. It's fun taking time out to look at stuff you wouldn't usually look at. he was delighted to see this snail happily sitting in the middle of a flower.In turn I pointed out all the places that had changed since I lived here…

8555/21474Off to Cheddar today to see the folks. I was anticipating a difficult Bank Holiday Weekend drive but it was pimpsy. I looked up at the sky as I drove and wondered how anyone could think the Earth was flat. You can see that the the sky forms a dome above us. Now flat earthers might say that yes, that's right, but the dome of the sky hangs over the plate that is the Earth. If that was the case though, the edge of the dome would have to be at the edge of the flat planet.

8554/21473It hasn't felt weird not doing the play for the last three nights. In fact it already feels almost impossible that we did it at all. Was that real? Would I still remember it if they had called up and said we're doing another show tonight?I've had so many dreams of being in plays that I haven't rehearsed and don't know what's meant to happen and now that (presumed) reality just feels like one of those.I booked my train tickets for the Edinburgh Fringe, another thing that doesn't feel…

8526/21445I know I am the last person who should be saying this, but you really don't have to write down every single thing you think. Believe me I think a lot of stuff that I'd never commit to paper or audio. Which when you consider the things I am happy to say must really make you wonder what kind of dark shit is going on in my head. It's the same dark shit that is going round in yours. What one has to love about people is their capacity to judge others for the things that they themselves a...

8525/21444Snoozing in bed early this morning, I heard my son (who I guess was out in the corridor alone waiting for someone to wake up) sneeze and then sweetly say "Bless me".Sometimes you need to bless yourself.It's so lovely to start the day giggling uncontrollably. He came into the bedroom to see what I was laughing at. Maybe it had been his plan all along.It was my turn to look after the kids today, though as Phoebe had a play date it was mainly Ernie and me. It was a lot of fun hanging o...

8524/21443I can't believe I've never interviewed Chris Evans (not that one) or indeed Chris Evans (that one) or Chris Evans (that one) or any of the other Chris Evanses (not those ones). I am talking about the Chris Evans from gofasterstripe who I have been working with for the last 20 years.I thought it would be nice to celebrate the incredible work he has done, filming stand up specials and turning into an independent publisher for the Book Club.

8523/21442The kids were with their grandparents so Catie and I had a daytime date: going to the gym, Wagamamas and the Cineworld to watch Project Hail Mary.The most convenient time for us was a 4DX screening, where your seats move and you get sprayed by water. We've done this a couple of times, most notably and inappropriately when we went to see 1917. I am not sure World War One should be turned into a rollercoaster ride.

8522/21441So far no big offers coming in as a result of Bake Off, but that's probably good news. The big beasts of entertainment are all circling me, waiting to make their move , so in this case, no apparent interest whatsoever in ever having me back on TV is actually a sign of how much everyone on TV wants me back.I'm playing it cool, don't worry. Today I was mainly relieved that Scott Mills hadn't been in my episode (as he is supposed to be in this series).

8521/21440Back in the big time.My episode of Bake Off: Stand Up To Cancer aired tonight. and I was confident that my performance was so strong that the phone would start ringing as soon as the credits rolled. I waited by the phone, but it must have been broken because no one rang. Or maybe I will have to wait til business hours tomorrow, but the long and short of it is that finally I will get the celebrity lifestyle I deserve and I won't need you losers any more. So this is the last blog...

8520/21439One of the many advantages of having had cancer is that you get regular check ups to make sure it's not come back. Those check ups, of course can also reveal other stuff that you might not have noticed was wrong, nice and early so you get a chance to do something about it.As with my last check up in November when my oncologist noticed my white blood count was low. This can happen for a variety of reasons, so nobody was too worried about it, but I'd go in for blood tests every month ...

8519/21438What a wonderful image to end another horrible week. Could anyone's heart have failed to soar when seeing the picture of benefit cheat Catherine Wieland in West Sussex - a woman who claimed her anxiety kept her housebound - on a zipline in Mexico. Mexico isn't even in West Sussex, let alone Catherine Wieland's house. So something was going on here.I