Nikhil's Blog

Do what your heart says. You must have heard it a thousand times by now. But nobody explains what it means. So each of us fills in the meaning. For some, the heart stands for instinct. For others, it means doing what you love. Intuition versus emotion. The brain naturally emerges as the rational candidate. Almost too rational, because nobody enjoys what the brain has to say. It is more pragmatic. More outcome-driven. Less swayed by feeling. Or so the interpretation goes. So should you follow…

Some people are masters at making you feel inadequate. As if you are worthless. As if whatever you did doesn't matter. As if you know nothing. They act as if they are fixing the world for you. They are doing you a favour. You cannot ask for their help lest they take over. Then they will make you feel as if you have not done enough. This is a sophisticated form of manipulation. The goal of all manipulation is submission, and this is no different. But in this particular method, the perpetrator…

Pressure situations teach us something that a decade of slow life cannot. They reveal our highest potential. Our truest limitations. And the sheer resourcefulness of the mind. For some, when the mental pressure is at its peak, the mind does not falter. It becomes sharper. But not everybody handles pressure the same way. Some people sleep through such nights like a baby. When they wake up and return to their work, they know exactly what to do. The calmness sets them apart. Then there are those…

Don't be too easy for others. Don't let people trample you. This is easier said than done for those who struggle to tout their own worth. People who doubt themselves don't assert their abilities to the world. They are always second-guessing. Thinking that if they are capable, so is everybody else. This keeps them perpetually humble. But also perpetually subservient. They are the first ones to be taken advantage of. They are the first ones to get mocked. Because they crack jokes at their own…

Politics has damaged a lot of relationships. It is hard to pinpoint when having a different political opinion began to feel like a personal threat. It has become nearly impossible to share a room with someone who holds the opposite view. It is even harder in the age of social media, where everyone feels compelled to broadcast what they think. The chasm has only grown wider with every passing year. Blaming any one political party for widening it is lazy thinking. Politicians do not necessarily…

The lack of courage to have awkward conversations keeps you from strengthening your conversational skills. The lack of skill in handling awkward situations keeps you perpetually scared and avoidant. Some people dodge difficult conversations like a contagious disease. They flee from it. They grow anxious. They panic. They get the jitteriness. They would endure all of this rather than muster the courage to confront. They lack courage because they are not skilled at it. They are not skilled…

A lot of people are suffocated. Mainly because they cannot express themselves. They have been punished for doing so in the past. And perhaps they believe expressing themselves would be too inconvenient for others. So they absorb the inconvenience themselves. The problem with good people is they assume others carry the same obligation. They don't. The lack of expression means you never say what you actually mean. Because it would be too harsh for the listener. You reach for convenient lies…

The trending story on any social media is how many people lost their jobs because of AI. That is if they are not discussing politics and war. Some people hate AI. Some are claiming they built a rocket engine to transport humans to the moon. Neither claim has anything to do with reality. The world has moved on without people. Technology has once again disrupted our world. We are reacting as if it hadn't in the past. The Industrial Revolution fundamentally changed how we live, how we eat, how we…

Reading fiction is meditative. It's true that it transports you into another world, but that's not the important part. The important part is that it makes you forget your current one. In a typical meditation session, you observe your thoughts. You see them pass by. You practice detachment from them. The idea isn't to not feel them but to not be controlled by them. The one thing people take away from meditation is calmness. The calmness with which they handle everything. Because they carry a…

In any argument, the one who raises their voice loses. Because raising your voice means you used force instead of quality to elevate your case. That is the first sign of low emotional control. You are being exposed. You showed the world that you are vulnerable. That you cannot contain your frustrations. That you have not channelled your anger. You will find such people everywhere. You could even be one. There are people who scream and break things. That is how they assert dominance in an…

Exhaustion teaches you a great deal. Like whether something truly matters. If yes, how much. How badly do you want it. Your body is giving up. Your mind knows it cannot proceed. Not without your body collapsing. And the mind has a responsibility towards the body. Towards survival. So it will flood your consciousness with defeatist thoughts. That you should quit. That you have arrived at the edge of your limits. This is when you begin to ask whether you truly want this. Because giving up is…

Self-pity is addictive. Licking your own wounds feels good. For a while, there is no burden. No responsibility. No accountability. You have no compulsion to act. You can weep over your bad luck. Or you can blame somebody for your condition. If you cannot find anybody, you can always blame your circumstances. Some people go a step further and blame the government. Worse, they even blame their childhood trauma. These things are tempting. Because they free you from the burden of finding a…

Having a good vocabulary is underrated. Not only for the external world, but also for the internal one. You can name what's going on inside your head. With clarity. With precision. And that naming itself brings clarity. A lot of anxious thoughts emerge from uncertainty, because we don't know what's happening to us, phenomenologically as well as emotionally. But having a vocabulary doesn't mean going pompous with a thesaurus. People mistake vocabulary for memorising complex words. That's an…

There's one feeling that's common between a child and an adult. As you grow older, it only gets worse. We should have learned to handle it in childhood but we never do. And that's being happy for others. It's almost impossible to feel genuine happiness for someone else. Especially when things aren't going great for you. But even when things are going well, it's hard to be happy for others. Because then you measure their condition against yours. If yours is still relatively better, you can…

Moving on in life is the easiest advice to give but the hardest to follow. When you are committed to something or someone, it's hard to get away from it. Because it consumes your very fabric of existence. It governs your thoughts. It encapsulates your entire personality. People can look at you and tell you are devoted to something or someone. That's why breakups and divorce physically change people. We have all moved on from something we thought we never would. And yet we don't remember the…

When you are a responsible man, you are not allowed to falter. Once your role is established, you are expected to fulfil it. Every day. Every damn time. Regardless of how you are feeling. Regardless of what you are feeling. Depression then becomes a luxury. You only get empathy insofar as it keeps you functional. If your functioning is impaired, you don't get any. That's why there are men out there who are suffering but cannot speak of it. Because who would listen. They silently endure their…

Expectations are the root cause of suffering, they said. Desire for outcome also brings suffering. Everything you want brings suffering. You talk to someone you want to keep talking to. But if they don't feel that way, or don't feel that strongly, you are finished. You suffer endlessly. Through no fault of your own. Except perhaps the need to connect. Why do we expect, though? Why is there a need for anything? The simple answer is because we are human. Humans have needs. But that's not quite…

You hear someone's problems. Your first reaction is to help. So you offer solutions, complete with logical steps for implementation, and even volunteer to assist them through the process. Figuratively, you spoon-feed them. And yet they keep talking as if you never spoke. They keep circling back to their problems. As if no solution exists. As if you said nothing at all. As if you don't even exist. This happens because people aren't looking for solutions. They are looking for a space to vent.…

The tolerance for physical pain can tell you a lot about a person. How he handles a broken arm. A bruised body. The sheer discomfort of simply holding up. Because your body revolts when it is in pain. When something is broken, it constantly reminds you that it is broken. And so you have to process all of those signals, endlessly. The mechanism of pain is primitive. When something hurts, it reminds you that it does. It wants you to attend to it. It doesn't understand whether you are already at…

Patience is a virtue. When things are falling apart, holding yourself together requires immense courage. Immense strength. Immense fortitude. And your patience is tested. You want to lash out. At the injustice. At the unfairness. At the moral depravity. For making you helpless. You want to settle the score. You want to restore the order where you are on top. And when you do none of those things and hold your patience, it feels like a superpower. People who can hold themselves when holding…

Accepting a mistake takes balls. Not everybody has it. Not everybody has the courage to say they are sorry. That they made a mistake. Because accepting it means accepting the consequences of those mistakes too. Then they cannot claim that the world is unfair to them. They cannot hide their failures behind excuses. And so people get defensive. They conjure all sorts of excuses to prove it was never their fault. Even if you catch them red-handed, it is still not entirely their fault. They have to…

The Maurya Empire was the largest empire in Indian history by territory. The land it controlled and influenced directly was never consolidated again until the British Empire, two thousand years later. Ashoka was the most powerful ruler of the Mauryan dynasty. But his obsession with non-violence hollowed the empire from within. The army had no territory to conquer. So it grew weak. When Ashoka died, the cracks surfaced. One after another, Mauryan rulers assumed the throne. But each failed to…

We no longer look at anything with wonder. With awe. The kind that baffles the mind. Leaves us confused. Clueless. Eternally curious. We are not pursuing anything that quickens our heartbeat. That makes us lose track of time. That sends us down the rabbit hole. We know nothing that makes us talk endlessly. Pursuing wonder matters. You have to surprise yourself once in a while. You tend toward hubris otherwise. You start believing that the longer you live, the wiser you become. That is the…

Writing essays is easier than posting them. I learned that the hard way. Social media is a tough game to crack. Tougher because it demands consistency. Which, if you lack, you are done. The algorithm is fickle. The people who succeeded have no idea how they managed it. So they parrot consistency. Because that is the only thing that makes sense. Showing up every day is not the issue. I show up every day to a blank page anyway. That does not bother me. Because the expectations are aligned. I know…

I have been writing for years. Blogs, stories, history. Across all categories. Fiction, personal essays, self-help, life advice, financial newsletters. I have done it all. And it gets to me sometimes. The whole charade of producing content. Thinking through everything. I like thinking. It comes naturally to me. But there is always a cost. The cost is solitude. It sounds novel. Until you see the other side of it. Until you calculate what it actually demands. When you prefer solitude, you reject…

You meet someone at a university, at an event, at your office. You start talking to them. You hit it off instantly. The chemistry is undeniable. So good that you feel grateful to have found them. You start planning conversations with them. Wondering why you couldn't have such chemistry with others. You believe in God's miracles. Gradually you begin to realise that they don't feel the same inclination towards you. The urgency for conversation that you feel is absent in them. You still have the…

Loneliness makes you do stupid things. Like tolerating the wrong person. Like fawning over someone you should have avoided. Thinking about someone you have no business thinking about. The pain of being with yourself feels unbearable sometimes. No amount of meditation helps. Meditation too brings you closer to yourself. But what if you are tired of yourself. The need for warmth is real. You need someone closer to you. Someone to touch you. Someone to hold you when you want to break down. Someone…

Silence is not peaceful. It is confrontational. The moment you go quiet, you are flooded with thoughts. The same thoughts you have been running from. The same thoughts you formed. The same thoughts that took shape because you kept opening your mouth. Silence only feels unbearable because you have no working relationship with yourself. You don't know what to do with yourself. You don't know the cause behind the thoughts. The thoughts exist in a vacuum. Without a name. Without a shape. Without…

When in Rome, act like the Romans, they said. The advice is sound. It has merit. Because it primarily teaches you to blend. Camouflage yourself. Conceal your intentions. Hide your incentives. Prioritise survival above everything else. It turns you into a chameleon. So you can advance faster than the rest. So people do not treat you like a stranger. The antithesis of this is a strange detachment. You feel no urge to blend in. You feel out of place. As if you could see through the matrix. As if…

One of the reasons everyone should watch and participate in sports is that it demonstrates why one must always cultivate hope. Why one should never give up. If you keep your willpower intact and keep pushing beyond your limits, further than you believe you are capable of, you can make history. You can reach a point you never thought possible. This is what sports does to the mind. It reprograms it into believing in the impossible. When you are taking a leap of faith, you need immense belief, to…