Happily Imperfect

Share a song that feels like it’s giving you permission to feel everything. I have a melancholy side. I’ve been through depression. It still sits in the background making me question everything. I now know that I don’t need permission to have feelings and emotions. I know that many people share these thoughts, I am not alone, I am not that unique. Occasionally I want to slip away from the world to a quiet place and just … be. No pressures, no thoughts, just a moment of existing. “The Other…

What’s your favorite song about patience? I am not patient. I am more patient than I used to be for sure, but my default is not to wait, is to do the thing. Unless there is thinking involved, in which case I have a tendency to over think things. I’m also better at NOT doing that too. A lot of my patience has been found through meditation, and learning to be in the moment and, if that’s a struggle, finding a way to accept that things will come when they come. Tomorrow is always a new day. It all…

Watching this movie tonight. Spielberg, Hanks, DiCaprio, Williams soundtrack, hard not to fault. What’s struck me is the other actors, Amy Adams, Jennifer Garner, Ellen Pompeo, Martin Sheen, Elizabeth Banks, all of whom I’d totally forgotten. What a fun movie, sometimes it’s nice just to kick back and chill out. Thanks for reading and keeping RSS alive. Visit my site for more.

Emotions are weird things. Dolly Parton’s death was very sad, not seen a single bad word about her, a life lived with love, empathy, and compassion. Aspiring. Tim Curry’s death was also sad, but having been in decreasing physical condition after his stroke, wheelchair bound, there will likely be a sense of sad relief, as I had with my Mum and Dad when they passed. I am still struck by how these celebrity deaths impact me. I wasn’t a massive fan of either, but aware of (and an admirer of) their…

Share a song that captures the feeling of being proud. I have a hard time being proud of myself. I tend to let achievements pass without acknowledging them. But sometimes just getting through is reason to be proud, just making it to the next day. It’s something many take for granted, but I think is a good enough reason to have pride in. Life can be so hard, so take the time to celebrate it each day, and have pride in yourself. You are still standing! “I'm Still Standing” by Elton John Listen on…

What’s a song you’d want to hear while stargazing? I’ve always been mildly fascinated with space, with the moon, with the wonder of the stars. I can’t recall where it started, or when, but as my life settled down I started to look up more and more often. One particular night, not long after my Dad died, I remember being outside with the dogs. It was a crisp cloudless autumn night, a chill in the air, and above me the moon was large, not quite full, and I stood there for a while just looking up.…

I’ve journaled in Day One for about 15 years now. Over that time I’ve tried many different approaches; focusing on gratitude (3 things that sparked joy), a Today I Will/How Was Today? duo entries system, through to a return to my preferred brain dump approach. It took me a long time to get to a point that I am comfortable in my journal and not trying to force my thinking into a certain structure. Some days I write a lot, some days I write little. Some days I write more than entry, most days I…

It’s the start of the school year —our first, as Jack is in Primary One— and we’ve received an email from the school outlining policies, teaching plans, and the like. The email included two PDFs, one was the letter with the aforementioned details, the second was a list of all the major events to look out for through the school year —sports day, school photo day, and the like. There was around 40 different items to add to our (shared) calendars. An onerous task for a human but, hello ChatGPT,…

I’ve been blogging since 1999 so my workflow is a very finely honed precision process. Not. I do have one, of sorts, and it has changed many times over the years. When I decided to refocus on my blog, I took the time to figure out the best way to get thoughts into words, and those words onto my blog. The inspirations My ideas don’t come from one source, they come from RSS feeds, news articles, conversations, or just thoughts that occur to me throughout the day. This post was inspired by Michael…

What song makes you want to forgive someone? After my first divorce I entered what I call my discovery phase. I lived life hard, tried many different things in an effort to better understand who I was. I had a girlfriend, and then two —polyamory— and it was hard. It could’ve been easier if I’d been more true to myself, and if I’d stepped back a little from the life I was living but, that’s the thing about life, when you are IN it, you can’t see the shape of it, can’t see where it’s dragging…

I don’t tend to follow the work of an author, whilst I read my fair share of novels (25-30 a year), I switch up between various categories as I’m more interested in the wordsmithery, the imagery, and the storytelling of a novel than the genre. I’m as happy reading a ‘beach book’ —typically a police crime thriller— as I am the latest Booker Prize winner (apart from The Sellout, I just couldn’t get into it, must try again sometime!). I enjoy sci-fi, and as a young teenager spent a long time in…

What’s your favorite song about hope? You can picture the footage, hand held black and white shots of a teeming throng of young women, screaming, jumping up and down, hands in their hair, completely out of control and under the thrall of the new fangled rock music that was starting to impact the lives of, well, all of us. It’s the ’60s, and The Beatles have arrived. My Mum was one such young woman, through her college years, with her college friends, picking their favourites (hers was Paul),…

A weekly recap of the articles and posts I’ve read that I think are worth your time. PSA: Know What You’re Doing | The Art of Manliness — Amen to this. I’d also add an addendum around being ready to finish your transaction as well. The number of people who can’t figure out how to LEAVE a checkout, or queue, baffles me. I guess I’m a high-agency kinda guy then. As the wildfires burned · thega.me.uk — The Cairngorms fire is still smouldering. My family were evacuated from their home due to it. A…

Share a song that perfectly captures longing. The early days of relationships are wonderful things, all that new relationship energy in your system, spending as much time soaking up this new person, learning them, hearing them, feeling them, touching them, and all the time just wanting more and more and more. But life continues, jobs are needed, so you have hours without them and, from the exalted high you are experiencing with them, the crashing low when they aren’t around can feel so deep…

He’s not 5 yet, and we stop for a lot of little rests, but hearing him “wheeeeee” down hills makes my soul soar and my heart sing. Thanks for reading and keeping RSS alive. Visit my site for more.

What’s a song you associate with your biggest mistake? We’ve all been there. That sense of feeling stuck in a situation of our own making, of knowing that we need to change something but holding on to it with the hope of what you thought you had, what you thought you’d get. It’s easily my biggest mistake, which I’ve repeated a couple of times. I have a habit of “what if”ing. Some of the time, it’s negative, most of the time it’s positive, it’s dreaming up what my life could be like, imagining a…

It’ll be wasp season soon —he says, well aware that the very idea of “seasons” is an increasingly futile one— and so any slight buzzing has me frantically scanning for something, anything, I can use as a weapon. I don’t think I’ve ever told the story of when I was stung. It was, I think, my Mum’s birthday. I can recall helping my Dad organise a surprise holiday for her around that time too. A special birthday then, her 60th? Anyway, they’d booked a meal for friends and family to celebrate, and…

What song makes you want to write poetry? Has to be Guy Garvey, a wonderful weaving wordsmith. And while there are many songs to choose, and while I already feel the tears creeping to my eyes, it has to be Scattered Black & Whites. Why? This is why: Been climbing trees I’ve skinned my knees My hands are black, the sun is going down She scruffs my hair in the kitchen steam She’s listening to the dream I weaved today Crosswords through the bathroom door While someone sings the theme-tune to the…

Apropos of nothing, a list. Roughly ordered. The West Wing Severance The Sopranos The Thick of it Blackadder Mr. Robot Hannibal Slow Horses Luther Frasier Breaking Bad 24 Fawlty Towers The Wire Gilmore Girls Red Dwarf Line of Duty The Office (UK) Friends Ted Lasso Cracker The Studio Fleabag Only Fools and Horses The Detectorists Happy Valley The Bear Peep Show Thanks for reading and keeping RSS alive. Visit my site for more.

Share a song that captures the feeling of being brave. The album, News of the World, was a seminal moment for my youthful ears. I’d discovered a copy of Jazz in my parents record collection when I was around 10, and my Dad mentioned that I could probably find other albums by the band in the local library. News of the World was the first one I borrowed. A much more stripped back affair than the previous two albums (think Bohemian Rhapsody!), and with the rise of punk, the album has moments of…

Day 88. I think he sees it now. I thought as much last week but, for sure, this morning confirms it. 107.1 107.1 106.9 107.1 It’s consistent for sure. It’s a plateau. He forgets I can see that he’s gotten away from what he was doing. He’s eating a little less carefully, his exercise levels have dropped. I can see why too. Disheartened after the first week without any weight loss, out of kilter for the second —he knows he exercised a lot more but also ate more cake— and this last week has been a…

What’s a song you’d want to hear while watching the sunrise? Songs are memories. I was a bleary eyed 17 year old, pulling his first all-nighter. I’d visited clubs that are now legendary —Amnesia, Space, Ku— that at the time were just places to go and drink and dance and connect. Even as a horny teenager I kinda knew that those places weren’t for hooking up. They were for shared moments. I can’t recall which club it was we eventually stumbled out of, but suddenly night had retreated as the…

I am fifty-two. All the clichés are true. Time changes everything. That’s hardly a revelation to anyone older than me, and those of a similar vintage are probably nodding along with all the wisdom we’ve collated. We like to tell ourselves we’re ageing like fine wine, and I think there’s a little truth in that. I mean, we are ageing. One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed recently is something that hasn’t happened all at once. I realise now it’s been creeping up on me for years. Hindsight…

“All I Need” by Air & Beth Hirsch Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What’s a song you associate with your favorite photograph? We have black and white version of this framed on our wall. A quiet moment for Becca. A moment where our future is captured before it has arrived. I knew she was going to be a wonderful mother, and this image captures that for me, the love and care, of her future child and of nature, quietly, privately on display. All I needed was a…

Let me just say that again, because I can’t quite believe it. My son, our little bundle of joy and chaos, starts school today. He turns 5 in October and is very very ready for school. I think. No, he is. He is most definitely ready, and ohhh so excited. I’m not sure I am though. I mean it was only yesterday I was holding him, swaddled tight, moments after he was born, watching this tiny little squishy thing sucking on the edge of the towel. My son. I didn’t know I was going to have a son. We…

“This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)” by Talking Heads Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. Share a song that captures the feeling of being understood. I can’t recall what she said, not exactly, as we lay in bed facing each other, inches apart. We’d been talking for a while, enjoying being close to one another. It was dark now, the hours had slipped forward. We were still learning. Still harnessing our new relationship energy. Lying there, just being…

A weekly recap of the articles and posts I’ve read that I think are worth your time. Tech sucks: You have to vote with your wallet, or nothing will change – 82MHz — I enjoy Apple products. But I am aware of the “trap” I am in. Does that make me complacent? Controlled? Less so or more so than those in the Android “trap”? The Clash of the Egosystems — “egosystem leaders are not motivated by thinking about us, shared ideals, or even technological progress. They’re inspired by market capture,…

A Japanese practice that involves spending time in a forest to promote relaxation and connect with nature. The term (森林浴) translates to “forest bath”. The idea of forest bathing —of taking time to be in nature, of slowing down and paying attention to the sights, sounds, colours and textures around you— is not a new one to me. But I never knew it had a name. Before Jack arrived, Becca did some courses and considered setting up some form of counselling/help service which would’ve been centred…

It’s a great topic. AI. Easy to dismiss. Easy to praise. But it isn’t everything. Not everything needs to be in comparison with it. Not every thought shared needs to take a stand for, or against, it. Not every article has to include a reflection on it. Sometimes you can just forget AI exists. Post the photo. Publish those thoughts. But don’t say that AI couldn’t have done this. Or AI wouldn’t do that. Or that it would be better with AI. Just let it go. Stop moaning about AI. Find a different…

“I Want You” by The Silencers Listen on Apple Music Your browser does not support the audio element. What song makes you want to dance alone in your room? Many songs make me want to dance. Plunder my playlists for Basement Jaxx, Chemical Brothers, Disclosure. Visit my memories of 90s rap blaring from my car stereo. Grab my love of disco and my rendition of I Will Survive from a friends wedding. I love dancing, I love losing myself in the music and moving my body. I don’t do it enough. But I…