The Folkmoss Logs

Last edited 2 minutes ago. Considering how much anything costs right now (bc of AI, blockchain, mining, or whatever the fuck is going on in tech), I have come to a point in life where I realized I can afford nothing. Add to that the fact that my main computer died and I'm struggling financially... well, what's a girl to do? Use older tech and forget about the modern world is the answer, apparently. GamingMy old ass laptop can barely handle multiple tabs open on a browser, let alone a modern…

Last edited 9 minutes ago. Yes, cat trip, not cat nip. Last Sunday (28), I took a plane with a kitty that isn't mine to her new home in Brasília. Am spending the week here; there isn't a lot to do but it's a good respite and the weather at night is cooler, which I enjoy. I love night walking. Kitty is the sweetest girl and got attached to me, which I am loving. She keeps demanding to sleep with me. She's so cute. She was one of the bottle babies I helped with earlier this year (first pic). Took…

I miss being outside. I miss pre-pandemic me. I miss public daylight events in the old downtown area that felt like this picture. The sun setting, some weird band playing on the stage, me and a couple of friends sitting by the riverside, the breeze keeping us cool. Friends are now all living in other states or becoming parents or being so busy. Town Hall got really bad at organizing public events. Historical downtown became a slum, the riverside a dumpster. I don't know how to go back to being…

Last edited 11 minutes ago. It's 3 AM and I can't sleep. Thinking too much. Going over my life, trying to reach into the recesses of my pitiful memory. Today I had a very bad reaction tied to negative feedback. At first I thought: wow, I'm doing so much better with RSD... until this 1 AM meltdown happened. Ha. What's really striking me is how much worse life has gotten. I guess when you come from shit, every little step is a small victory, a relief, an improvement. But when you come from good…

This is a non-exaustive list of stuff that’s crossed my mind in recent days. CW depression etc. Am I even a person? Sometimes I dont feel like a human. I want a completely different life that has absolutely nothing to do with me and which I had never truly considered until now and I hate myself for it. Or maybe it’s just escapism. I don’t know how to do anything. I wish I had played video games when I was a kid I wish I weren’t so full of shame. I have never put my heart into any project bc I’m…

Folks keep texting me, asking how I'm doing, why have I not texted back in so long, if I'm ok... I guess I should be grateful there are people in this world that care for me enough to insist in keeping in touch when I clearly am just a sucky friend, but all I want is to be left completely alone. I don't wanna answer to anybody. I'm already spending all of my energy in existing around the people who live with me, I can't afford interact with folks online. Today I avoided everything again; didn't…

Last edited 0 minutes ago. Living as little as possibleHello. Yes, I am, in fact, still alive. Haven't had the energy to do much, though. I think I've mentioned this in previous posts but—been living as little as possible lately. Which, in turn, means I've been living inside my own head a lot. I'm realizing now that I used to be like this in high school and throughout college. I'm doing stuff I haven't done since then—namely writing/reading fanfic; having constant bursts of maladaptive…

Me every Monday.

Today I dreamed of a river. It's weird because for the past few months the only dreams I've had are sleep paralysis-inducing nightmares or me doing everything I've been putting off, work-related or otherwise. But today I dreamed of just this wide, winding river, dark-colored, crimson, similar to the color I saw in the Amazon river. And it had so many tributary rivers along the way, but many had different colors (one was dark purple!) and depending where people and things were taken (I guess the…

Fellas, is it wrong to just wanna sit on a guy's face? Sigh. Hormones have been going crazy lately, idk if it's medication or what. All I know is that in the past I never had real crushes on famous personalities and now I feel like I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure every time I see this man on a video. 😩 To think in high school I had to pretend to have crushes to fit in. And now, as an old 36yo, I'm finally feeling like a teenage girl. Oh, the irony.

Making an effort to remember there was some joy that was had. Even if just a little.

Last edited 11 minutes ago. Reddit gets a bad rap for a very good, valid reason. It's filled with karma farming or whatever it's called, and if you let yourself be overtaken by the "basic" algorithm over there, very little good can be taken from it. But there are a few good, curated spaces that I really enjoy over there that don't offend basic human decency and aren't filled with bots and slop. I don't use Reddit as a "social" space, it's more of a resources list for me, and with a few…

Last edited 8 minutes ago. Hey folks. Haven't been around for a while now. Wanted to drop by and say a quick hello, that I'm still alive. I'm afraid my last post was a bit on the dramatic side, and since then I've been meaning to write a bunch here to bury that, but alas. That didn't happen. Ever since I got back home from C. City I've been weird. Partner threw a pizza party with the neighbors (where he cooks the sauce and makes the pizza dough and we all just sit around enjoying ourselves bc…

The Folkmoss Logs, logging life away.

I think I made a mistake. But I also read fanfiction, thought about cis men, tabletop games and the days.

The Folkmoss Logs, a blog about nothing.

And I'm finally home again. Surrounded by cats, books, trinkets and worries. It's possible I might...

A (non-exhaustive) list of things I love seeing in blogs/personal websites, with examples.

I've been feeling very disconnected from the world lately. (& Also have a few links I'd like to share.)