kelsey’s blah blah blahg

I'm awake at a weird hour because of piloerection. I assure you piloerection is an actual term and a condition of the human body even though the Bear Blog editor insists on underlining it as a misspelling. It means the erection or bristling of hairs due to the involuntary contraction of small muscles at the base of hair follicles that occurs as a reflexive response of the sympathetic nervous system especially to cold, shock, or fright. Basically I'm too aware of my body hair despite not having…

unless you start the year in March, in which case it's only the second quarter, and if I've learned anything from Feminist Witchcraft™️ it's that the year begins in the Spring. Christian Orthodoxy wants you to believe otherwise because They Are Lying To You About Time. Lunar New Year began February 17th and the moon is a woman so I don't think China is lying to you in the same way as Christians.

Number of movies watched: 27 Favorite/most memorable movie: Disclosure Day (2026) Think I'm finally done collecting tarot decks for a while, as I was able to procure all the out-of-print companion books that I wanted to this month Posted my face on YouTube & didn't die [redacted]

I bought a sample of Demeter Fragrance Library's Kitten Fur and wore it last night to a screening of Gregg Araki's Three Bewildered People in the Night at 2220 Arts. I didn't have to include the second half of that previous sentence but I thought I might as well in case you had any doubt about me being an insufferable LA person. Moving on--I initially thought the perfume smelled like soap, a whatever scent, but now any time I pick up Freya and inhale her kitteny essence, of Kitten Fur™️ I am…

Just kidding it's me Kelsey but I understand what she must have been going through when she spent $60,000 on a psychic. I can't stop buying tarot decks and books on the occult (most recently, feminist texts from the 80s and 90s) and I'm feeling like I did in 2020 when I was suddenly very obsessed with Robert Anton Wilson. It started with a shitty pirated PDF of Quantum Psychology and ended in a new physical copy plus High Weirdness by Erik Davis, The Act of Creation by Arthur Koestler, I Have…

I've been taking my tarot study more seriously this year and observed that being separated from all my books while I was in NJ for a month forced me to reflect on my personal interpretations. We just came out of Gemini season which is said to be connected to the suit of swords, and I realized I have a lot of problems with the suit's popular associations. Firstly, why are swords associated with air? People say that the air element represents one's mental state, but I can't reconcile the idea…

Talked to **** about different types of friendships and emotional baggage and obsession and gossip and bullying and we both shared anecdotes re: bullying before concluding that neither of us knew how to talk to people back then/acknowledged our part of The Problem but I'm angry and resentful thinking about it now because,,, 1.) are bullies introspective are they having these conversations with their bully friends 2.) could I be a bully in denial? I think there should be bully support groups,…

This is a follow up to this post which I said I'd do on Thursday and now it's Saturday morning oooops. I more or less stuck to my plan and found it easier to be less obsessive about social media with the help of ScreenZen, which I used to set 15-minute limits and a delay screen for my most addictive apps. Unfortunately I kept getting distracted when I tried to watch Ken Burns' The American Revolution, now available to stream on PBS/Kanopy, but I blame the fact that it's a big commitment since…

I've noticed a huge uptick in the use of "genuinely" by younger people lately and apparently Claude is guilty of its overuse too. Add it to list of things you should probably use conservatively lest you sound a.) dumb or b.) like AI.

A moment ago, I deleted a post mid-draft because writing led to a personal realization, the content of which I didn't think was of particular value to ~the blogosphere~. I wonder how often this happens with other bloggers. Perhaps it was cowardly of me to delete it. I have a problem with overthinking, which is usually thinking-about-thinking, which leads to talking about everything in abstract terms and "losing the plot." I often delete "I think" from the beginning of sentences unless those…

sometimes you have a brilliant idea at 3am, other times you scribble down stuff like this

My boyfriend gifted me the recently-viral task light from Ikea, which should theoretically make it easier for me to photograph and video my tabletop content for YouTube. I set it up yesterday and was impressed by how well it illuminated (otherwise aggravatingly small) seed beads. His house is adorable/clean but the interior walls are navy blue (maybe indigo?) which absorbs sunlight and makes it difficult to film indoors. Back at home, my office is very bright (almost blindingly so during…

Number of movies watched: 51 Favorite/most memorable movies: The Killer Condom (1996), Backrooms (2026), and Obsession (2026) Visited my boyfriend (I'm still here as I extended my trip) 💞 Bought 3 tarot decks, after repeatedly saying I was done collecting lol. When I announce that I'm not doing something, it means that it's something I desperately want to do... Posted 2 videos to YouTube and a few reels to IG--feeling more comfortable with the format these days and looking forward to finally…

Your breath is a reliable meditation tool that you can take everywhere. Spiders are everywhere that sustains life. They're at the park, around your home, around work… we've even taken them to outer space. Sometimes you're blessed with a ceiling spider during a dark night of the soul. While outdoor spiders have no interest in entering our “cozy” homes, indoor spiders have likely been indoor for their entire lives. It's where they were born and it’s all they know. Heartwarming, or Plato’s cave,…

Here's life lately represented by my consumer choices. Post not sponsored. Lux Tarot1 Ready-To-Use Illustrations of Hands Mount Hagen 3.53oz Organic Freeze Dried Coffee (2-pack) Kodomaru Pro Corner Cutter Korean BBQ (bento box special: beef bulgogi, japchae, rice, daikon radish and other assorted banchan) Rueben sandwich Criterion Channel subscription Bonus: recently canceled orders Barbara Walker in a Tin Bonus bonus: recently canceled orders that I went ahead and ordered soon thereafter Ghost…

It's 4:54am and I've been restless for about an hour. Completed today's Wordle + Connections puzzles already, and I saw that my bf did them at 1am (because he always texts me lol). I'm at his house right now, so it's extra funny that we've been taking turns being insomniacs. I scrolled headlines on the Apple News and AP news apps and then the Most recent tab in the Bear Discovery feed. I'm having a hard time with "Most recent" and "Discovery feed" because I don't know if I should capitalize the…

Feeling okay about letting some time pass in between posts instead of the usual guilt. I'm trying to change because (in the most insufferable tone you can imagine) keep your coins, man, I. need. CHANGE!!! My tendency towards negativity and drama at weird hours of the night doesn't make me better/more productive so I'd like to start by changing that. I'm reminded of a simple animation of a guy who examines his negative thoughts and says, "wait a minute, I can think of anything I want." The other…

Number of movies watched: a pathetically low 13, but it's because I was too busy with life stuff and making art... so that's ultimately a good thing! (I guess! I miss movies though lol) Favorite/most memorable movie: Suroh: Alien Hitchhiker (1996), mainly because I love the scene with the stoner talking about alien conspiracy theories Went on a day trip to San Diego, which in hindsight was crazy since that was a cumulative 5 hours of driving by myself Hung out with more friends than usual…

because it’s the only private space I have. I’m annoyed because I pulled into a parking lot and there’s a man lying on his back (on a patch of grass on one of the medians) who looked alarmed when I parked, facing him. I put my sun visor up but I can still hear him talking to someone on the phone. There are plenty of other actually secluded areas at the edges of the property, but this man decided that sitting in the middle was a good idea. Maybe I’ll take my sun visor down and stare at him. The…

hey no offense and sorry to interrupt your evening but this might be the greatest piece of music ever composed??1 For this song, I spent a considerable time choreographing a dance number. This post might be the only evidence of such--no, it is recorded in my heart as well. Please make sure to dance in your bedroom. The survival of the world depends on it. I am healing the world with my dance moves and I think if we all dance enough, it will make a difference. well maybe second to "Love is a…

I’m an anxious and relentlessly creative person, which means I’m embarrassed a lot. I wish that people didn’t romanticize the term “creative,” because when I say “relentlessly creative,” I mean this to be a statement of fact rather than a flex or celebration. I am creating lots of things and most of them are bad. Bad art can be therapeutic, bad art is art too. I'm thinking about a pull quote in a New York Times Magazine profile of “compulsive poster” Matt Farley: “If you reject your own ideas,…

Sitting at a Starbucks while I wait to meet up with a friend in San Diego. I drove down from LA and traffic sucked but it always does. I hate that it’s still faster than the train because I aspire to be someone who frequently rides the train and stares wistfully out the window. I don’t know what to write about but I figure that writing a whateber blog post is better than scrolling. I haven’t been able to do a lot of things I want to because my father was in the hospital for a week after a…