Is this the backbone to my "laziness"?

I wanna be the genius I thought I was growing up. From preschool until I graduated college, and even during my office days, there was always someone who’d call me a genius. Those interactions obviously fed my ego and subconscious, and they’ve put me in tough spots where I was unprepared for things I should have been ready for. Being called a genius didn’t incentivize me to “get ready” or “study,” because somehow it felt like all of that should come intrinsically to me, as talent. I became quite avoidant of a lot of things because of it. I feared failing so much that I didn’t even bother trying other things unless my circumstances forced me to. I did sorta get over that in college by challenging myself to pass a class without going in... I failed. I was reading Buddhism-related texts during this time of my life and fell into a crisis. But the fear still lingers, probably more now than ever, since I have a family to nurture and a job at the mercy of our AI overlords. Of course, I have…