Agoraphobic Memory

It's hard talking to people who don't have agoraphobia sometimes because they just assume existing in public and going places is all fun and awesome and freeing, while I just took a 4-day trip and I feel like I'm still recovering. I feel sick thinking about having to help plan someone's trip or review any of my past ones. There's a blocker in my head — perhaps related to how I don't store location data (because the outside is inherently dangerous?) — when thinking about my past trips, especially ones taken with family. I guess the problem of relying on others as anchors for your safety is that you don't feel like you actually have agency, and therefore there's less incentive to remember or think about how you really felt during the whole thing. Planning and executing a trip by myself (mostly) has made me think more about where I am and what I'm doing, but it was also as anxiety-inducing as expected, and I don't want to do that again for another year if I have to. I feel like most of…