Proj on (I realized I am less buoyant today)

I got angry in the water today. Not at any person. (Man vs Man) Not at the water. (Man vs. Nature) Not at myself. (Man vs. Self) And maybe it wasn’t anger. The surf is big right now. And the tide was high this morning. Big waves; large crashing wipeouts. I did a lot of paddling. And I got a few good rides. On one good ride, it ended–as they often do–with me underwater. I was under for rather longer than I wished to be under. That didn’t make me angry. I mostly felt puzzled. The currents weren’t really holding me down. What gave me a big angry-adjacent feeling was a REALIZATION. I have greater density. I have lost some weight. I am still plenty large. But my mass is denser. I have less adipose (fat) tissue. Fat tissue is lighter than water. I have been relying, for most of my life, on a kind of emergency water safety system based on being fat. And that system has changed. I’m still fat. I’m merely less fat. And so, I must adjust. I must be more mindful of other ways to get to the…