Envy Is Data, Not a Feeling

Envy is far more common than we admit, because it rarely shows up looking like envy. It's in the backhanded remark about someone else. It's in the way people vent about the latest Apple product online. It's in the cruelty strangers throw at each other on social media. It's in the whining to friends. It's in praise dressed up with self-pity. It's in calling someone else "lucky" the moment they succeed. It's in the tightness in your chest when someone with less status or money than you pulls ahead. Selfless happiness for someone else is only possible when you want nothing they have. If a friend finally finishes the marathon they trained months for, you're genuinely happy for them, because you never wanted to run that far in the first place. Indifference makes happiness easy. But indifference is rare. Most of the time, envy is unavoidable. Intense envy, though, is also a sign that you aren't doing enough with your life. You can't keep blaming luck. You have to assess the choices you…