THINKING ABOUT MY BIRTHDAYS

Thinking about my birthdays, past and present. (A brain dump.) My birthday is in three weeks.I turn 39 this year. I've been dreading this birthday for some reason. One year closer to 40. Joh and I had planned to travel around Thailand and Taiwan for our 40th, but I'm feeling apprehensive because of my financial situation. I have saved some travel funds saved up, but I might have to use it if I can't pay my bills and whatnot. Maybe that's why I'm dreading this birthday. At 39 you're supposed to have it more figured out, at least compared to when you're in your early 30s. I remember being so excited to turn 30. I felt like I'd made it: I just moved to Switzerland, got a huge pay bump coming from Hong Kong... While I could never picture my life in 5 years, I just didn't think it would look like... this. Of course, I still have a lot to be grateful for. I'm now a permanent resident here, I have a loving partner, good friends, etc. But I thought my days of worrying about money would be…