August is when and why I'm relearning Math

The start of August has been like a complex math problem for me. It's one of those stretches where a hole opens up in your chest and it feels like it has no bottom. So you spend the whole time trying to fill it with meaning and purpose. The question is always the same. Am I doing everything I can for my family? And can I keep doing it without burning out? I know that edge well. I've stood close to it plenty of times and I've never gone over. But I've noticed something about the way I stop. I stop before it breaks me. I don't always stop before it costs anyone else. My family has paid for a few of my late nights in ways I didn't bother counting at the time. Maybe it's just my body adjusting. We started making matcha at home, two or three in the afternoon, and it's become the part of the day I look forward to. Or maybe it was last weekend's canon event. We've all been pulled out of our own timeline by that same one question. Am I doing enough? And notice how small that ask really is.…