Not Addicted, Just Never Free

Smoking is one of those habits I buried, but it refuses to stay buried. I was a teetotaler for most of my life until I got a taste of a cigarette and liked it. Before I could even register what was happening, I had moved on to a pack a day, until it got so bad that I was reaching for a cigarette the moment I woke up. I would wake up in the evening and begin my day with a cigarette, until one day, standing on a balcony, I noticed a young kid watching me smoke. I realized I might be inspiring someone to start something they would have no control over. I also realized I was addicted to something that now dictated my routine. It wounded my ego, so I quit in the only way I knew how: suddenly, and with brute force. For years I never touched a cigarette, except occasionally, maybe a few times a year, when I was out with friends. I never noticed that the addiction was gone. And while I know I can never be addicted to cigarettes again, perhaps because I no longer smoke with that frequency,…