The Erotic Adventures of Andy Pandy

Okay, I would like to change some names here, except one is mine and I’m going to pretend I’ve forgotten the other. I think she’s married, anyway, so half her name will have been changed to protect the innocent. But still, the name you want to know about is Andy Pandy. If you don’t know that one, he was this puppet thing on TV when I was very young, and if you do know that name, forgive me. This is a children’s classic, this is a boy (I presume) who was always dressed head to toe in this huge outfit together with a matching hat. This is not the Andy Pandy I’m thinking about. The Andy Pandy that stopped me dead walking through a room in my school or possibly my sixth form, was Andy Pandy as played by a woman who would later be the first one I ever asked out. (I’ve never quite followed this, but she was also the seventh to turn me down.) For reasons passing understanding, she was dressed as Andy Pandy and you have never seen this character look so inexpressibly beautiful. There must’ve…