Love

Love, I always wondered what exactly it is. Honestly, never got to feel it, soo can't really describe it. I say when people around me ask that I love them, but it does not feel like love. It feels more like I am around them because they did not harm me yet, more like survival. I never truly get it. Honestly, people describe it as just yet another chemical reaction, but I have never seen another chemical reaction that makes people give their life for someone else. Me thinking I would never give my life might be a sign of not feeling love for anyone yet. When I am in a group and yet another guy says this happened and then I broke up, it hurted, and then I say I also want that experience, they say, “Better not get it.” Why? Like they got a phase in their life, a phase which I am thirsting over. I want that thing, that feeling of love and breakup and all of that in between. Whenever they say that, it feels like I envy that person. Part of it is kinda jealous. I don't know what the tf I am…