hoping it gets better

its been a while since i've journaled or blogged, and i've noticed i feel less present with myself. i also am using my phone again as a "smart phone", rather than a dumbed down minimalist interface. it still feels okay though, and that is because i still don't have any social media platforms that suck me into a doomscroll. yes, i have more on my phone than i did a month ago now, including email, news, and the ny times games, but none of that is necessarily short form content. that is what really gets me into a bad place, is consuming hours of short form content. i've actually enjoyed using my phone in the ways its designed to be helpful. when i have a lot to take care of in day, i use the reminders app and get a lot of satisfaction in checking things off because they just disappear. does it still control my life a little too much? yes. i feel that by getting a dumbphone though, i'd be making things that are already incredibly difficult nearly impossible, though (that is, getting on in…