I feel disoriented. I have no idea what to do with myself. My routine dismantled. I'm still staying at K's house this week. I went back to my place to pick up a few things. Took the garbage out, cleared out the fridge. Not ready to stay there alone yet. How am I going to walk around that neighborhood now? His stuffies are still on top of the couch. Is it harder to lose a pet when it was just the two of you for so long? On the cusp of panic. My health anxiety on overdrive. I haven't dreamed about him. I want to. I get mad sometimes. Incredulous. Why so soon? I still need him. I've been reading a lot at night. Being comforted by @bewareofpity. Doing NYT puzzles on my phone. Taking long walks around K's place, looking at people's homes, their yards, listening to birdsongs. It's not the same though.
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