You Can Dislike Them and Still Be Fair

We all have someone we know doesn't like us. We also have someone we don't like one bit. Cannot tolerate even if our life depended on it. But if you were asked to name three good things about the person you absolutely despise, who despises you in return, could you do it? The honest answer is no. Whatever we say, our judgments are clouded by emotion. Emotions are rooted in what we feel, not necessarily in what happened to us, but in how we interpreted what happened. Especially when we know the other person dislikes us too. Then we feel obligated to return the favour. In such cases it becomes impossible to even register the good qualities in them. To say they have none is naive. Every human being has something admirable. Even criminals. You are judged by whichever traits dominate the perception others have of you. You need to see a person as an entity that carries both virtues and flaws. The definition of good and bad shifts depending on the context and the person doing the evaluating.…