Please, dear HFY writers, no more stories starting with “Bob sat on the bridge of the Earth Ship Big Birtha”

Why do so many HFY stories start with the OC standing somewhere waiting for the opening thing to happen? I’ve lost track of the stories I’ve listened to or read that start with some chuckle-froggy in some location with the lights blinking or the tools shining. You have done that to death. Please, dear HFY writers, stop doing this. Please, please, please stop. Bob sat on the bridge of the Earth Ship Big Birtha, the lights blinked normally… Zzz… this reader is asleep. If I encounter one more HFY story that starts like this, I might scream! How many stories can copy the exact same start without putting us to sleep? Far less than currently exist, I can tell you that. We do not currently care about your character or the location you want to describe. I, for one, do not give a single flying mouse bum about the normal day a fictional human was having. I might if the brown stuff was already hitting the spinning thing. Screw that dull stuff! Tell me about the cool thing that happened. We can…