everything is embarrassing

I’m an anxious and relentlessly creative person, which means I’m embarrassed a lot. I wish that people didn’t romanticize the term “creative,” because when I say “relentlessly creative,” I mean this to be a statement of fact rather than a flex or celebration. I am creating lots of things and most of them are bad. Bad art can be therapeutic, bad art is art too. I'm thinking about a pull quote in a New York Times Magazine profile of “compulsive poster” Matt Farley: “If you reject your own ideas, then the part of the brain that comes up with ideas is going to stop. You just do it and do it and do it, and you sort it out later.” I don’t feel that I’m a great writer/artist at present, so I am following Farley’s advice and embarrassing myself online. I've been scribbling down more ideas for YouTube videos and know that I am capable of being proud of my work again (regardless if people like it or not). I will be less embarrassed in the future, maybe after posting 10 more videos and…