On Misunderstanding

We have all been misunderstood at some point in our lives—sometimes to the extent that no matter what we say, how we say it, or the context in which we say it, it is still interpreted incorrectly. Misunderstanding is essentially a gap in context: the distance between the intent behind what is said and the way it is received. Several factors come into play when someone misunderstands us. One of the most important is how we deliver our message. Something said harshly in the middle of a quarrel is often stripped of its context and taken purely at face value. The listener rarely looks beyond why it was said; instead, they focus entirely on what was said and how it was expressed. Often, this happens because you have triggered someone’s insecurities, which makes them defensive as they try to protect their self-image. Instead of listening to your concerns or understanding the context behind them, their attention turns inward. This shift derails the entire conversation. Some of this can be…