1d6 OD&D Lords With Small Penises

1. Lord of the Knights of the Shining Gold9th Level Fighting Man. Almost as wide as he is tall, with a bellowing laughter and a wild, black mane for hair and beard. Loves adventurers and will offer hospitality for all who pass, though will also expect a gift of 500 gp for his grace. Has a short, thick penis which goes much unused for sex these days, as he has sworn celibacy after his wife passed away tragically in childbirth. He is attended by 12 giants organized into pairs of lovers who see him as just as much of a giant as they are. Lord Shining Gold is their benefactor, sponsoring their love, and they will fight to the last for him. They all dress like hoplites and their beautiful golden shields gleaming in the sun. Each giant-pair is accompanied by a conroi of 5 crossbowmen and 5 heavy footsoldiers, all aspirants to the Shining Gold way and also beloved by their "elder brothers". A 5th level Cleric, the Canon, younger brother to the Lord, helps them along. He's pines after one of…