Terminal Lucidity

Finally booked a trip. Off to San Francisco at the end of the month. The plan is to split time pretty evenly between the city and nature. We’ll base in Pacific Heights, check off the big city tourist spots, and then grab a rental to cross the bridge and hit Muir Woods and the Marin Headlands. I recently got the “Gold Star & Veteran” America the Beautiful pass, so national park access and parking are free for life. My wife jokingly said that I spent thousands on a trip just so I can use a pass…

Every morning, before the family wakes and after the cat has been fed, I light a stick of incense, bow toward a kakejiku of Amida Buddha, and plunge it into the little bowl of sand and ash. It’s said that our sense of smell is more closely linked to memory and emotion than any other. It bypasses the Thalamus; straight to the dome. Shoyeido's Kyoto Autumn Leaves (Kyonishiki) incense takes me places. There’s a whole world in that tiny stream of smoke, rising in the light of a fake candle. It…

Memories of those years are hazy, at best. A chaotic slideshow of wanton debauchery, ragged at the edges. Police lights, smoky rooms, girls who knew too much. How I survived is still a mystery. My poor son, I see you on the cusp of those wild years. The world has changed; everything is recorded. A foul word, a bad decision, they can follow you forever now. The advice I offer, I can see that it doesn’t land. The vacant gaze betrays you. I’m an old man. What do I know? Your naiveté frightens me.…

Always waiting. An existential snare pulled tight around the neck of humanity. Like a wolf that wanders into a farmer’s trap, we snarl and thrash about in futility until he comes around to put a bullet in our head. Waiting for the weather to change, for an opportunity to arise, for things to get better—for that nebulous time in the future when you can finally do what you want to do. It will have all been worth it, just not now. Not yet. There is no future. It isn’t real. Hope is a comfortable…

An RSS reader was the key to breaking my Discover page addiction. The Redditification of writing needed to be nipped in the bud. I don’t want to be concerned with upvotes. Stormy weekend ahead. I’m an hour into the Elden Ring DLC. Respecced from mage to melee. Occult Nagakiba build goes hard. I also just got a handful of Dandadan manga. My wife wants me to wait for the next season of the anime, but I need to know what happens. I’m not much for meta-blogging, but I’m finally happy with this…