coldscars

not much going on just thoughts about hands on thighs tight grips after gentle strokes I drift to sleep where you are and almost expect a handprint on my thigh when I wake up

lust could be brushed off more easily the fire ignored would die out perhaps eventually if I'd let it but the tenderness having no place to go not dying the dreams so sweet I can't let go where will they lead me

I shouldn't and I can't and I'm not allowed but I do and I am and I want these words repeating nothing else left

you set the scene so expertly there is no way I can win give in and let you have your way only lose what I've been fighting for to keep the threads that hold me together stand my ground and accept the part you cast me in the selfish, the ungrateful the greedy, the inconsiderate and you the victim

the light never goes out only the colour changes just enough to know it is night there is no shadow to hide in when you slide my dress off one shoulder then the other you hold my gaze as you hold my body warm against yours not leaving any room for shame

it would've been nice to have someone with me at the lake holding my towel waiting watching me swim someone to giggle with about almost giving the fishermen a free show someone to help me change into a dry dress, no underwear and then rush home to lose the dress skin tasting of lake water the other one of salt

I lounge on the deck all day sweet drinks, a savoury snack sleepy dog at my feet just like you said the scent of roses still in the air a squirrel throwing pinecones the sun high in the blue sky but always behind a tree, a cloud the unrelenting heat never reaching where I rest even the wind offering relief the perfect summer day yet something is missing and I keep reaching for connection from a distance

when you smile do crow's feet form on the corners of your eyes do your teeth show or does that only happen when you laugh what does a frown mean how does your mouth move and do you ever bite your lip when you're deep in thought does your face reveal anything will I know when you look at me will I know even without words

the scent of blooming roses or budding romance in the air all around could be both sweet and delicate and oh so tenderly intoxicating none remain sober

you're holding parts of me so delicate I forget to breathe I sit with my fears and focus on one thought your lips on mine my lips on yours your lips on mine eyes closed we forget to breathe until we gasp

you're tangled in me somewhere like burdocks in my hair as a child running wild you're just less painful and more welcome you I want to keep

nothing I write is appropriate all the revealing details telling stories not ready to be seen at least half you must already know anyway you'll have to imagine the other half

the quiet hurt after words not said but meant you don't care at all half of me knows half wants to refuse knowing there is only one way out

there are no words only feelings ones I can't name in any language I simply bask and wallow and bask again and wish for a new word entirely the old ones won't do

these sheets are too cold I'm a little short on body heat would you mind sharing some of yours?