Wolf-boy versus Grinder (the Bow Valley Beowulf)

tl;dr: I’ve translated the intro to Beowulf and the fight scene between Beowulf and Grendel into modern rural Western Canadian English, complete with lots of rude language. Why? Because I wanted to. Here it is. Slightly longer introduction: Some time ago, I was thinking about the famous opening of Beowulf (“Hwæt!”), and how it gets translated. And I considered that people are always advised to translate into their native idiom. Well, in my native idiom – the dirtbag vernacular of the Bow Valley in Alberta – it could be “Fucken A!” (also sometimes written “Fuckin’ eh!” but that’s an argument for another time). So, for fun, starting with that and in that style, I translated the first 19 lines of Beowulf. I left it at that for some time, with the intention of translating more eventually. Well, I’ve now translated the fight scene between Beowulf and Grendel – or, in my translation, Wolf-boy and Grinder (see the end for notes on my translations of names). And, because it’s a gleefully…