I am currently trying to figure out and sort through which traits are inherent to my brain’s structure (which I cannot change or only to a limited extend) and which are largely conditioned beliefs and learned behavioral patterns (which can be changed). Trying to find a peaceful and supportive path for everyone in my life, including myself. I don't want to give up believing that one day I'll find a way to live with others long-term without having a complete meltdown every few weeks. To be precise: Right now, it’s about living with my family, my partner, and children and my need to be completely alone with myself. Sleep is physical maintenance, but solitude is emotional and cognitive “defragmentation” for me. It took quite a while for me to be able to verbalize this and appreciate it for myself.
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