127 - rain

all week i've felt kinda wrong trying to hold something in exhausted without really recognising it, hoping that if i dont, nobody else will either trying to show up when people need it friends, work, housemates i dont know if they needed it. but i hate the idea of not being there, if they did better to play it safe all week i havent been able to cry, feeling like i need to, not sure exactly what i'm grieving i've had weird, uncomfortable dreams every night this week. about things that were never real today i woke up and it was raining i went outside, looked at the sky, and suddenly i couldnt stop crying does that mean anything? was the sky feeling caged all week too? i dont know