This weekend sees the Eurovision Song Contest Finals that are being held this year in Vienna. For non-Europeans, the Eurovision Song Contest (henceforth known as ESC) is the musical and televisual alternative to all-out land war between European nations. Countries choose an original song and enter the contest to battle with other Euro nations' songs to see who has the best techniques for influencing the voting system. This is broadcast across Europe on a Saturday night. The winning country gets to host the following year's contest. Originally it was a technical exercise to test out that newfangled satellite broadcasting infrastructure, now it's just an International Incident in Waiting. Thanks to their "not a war" invasion of Ukraine, Russia were expelled from taking part. Thanks to their "not a genocide" invasion of Palestine (and subsequent war against Iran) Israel are welcomed with open arms and are hotly tipped to win this year. Why one nation's aggression leads to expulsion…
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