I relapsed and it felt awful and amazing (spiral)

Je suis revenue sur Insta pendant une semaine et j'ai hâte de pouvoir le re-desactiver. J'aime pas ce réseau, je me sens sur-stimulée mais c'est trop ... facile ? C'est trop facile d'être dessus. Is this a self-confidence issue ? Maybe. I do miss seeing what my friends are doing but also, why wouldn't I just ask them ? I also had the immediate reflex to stalk an ex-situationship within the first 30 minutes of having re-downloaded it. lol. Is this shameful ? Should this not be in my blog ? I also feel a strange pressure to post things on my Instagram because I want people to see I have a vision. Girl bffr vision of what. Anyways, I don't think my fragile ego should be on instagram these days. HOWEVER, I do think that not desactivating it could be a good exercise of self control. Like, leaving my account up BUT not using it. But also that would mean that when people ask me if I have instagram I would have to say : yes! Here it is. Then people would expect me to accept them, etc. Mmmm...…

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