The Paradox

Today I’m going to write about something a little deeper and try to unravel a few things my mind is still figuring out. Recovering from trauma sucks. Some years ago, I began experiencing panic attacks, which eventually led me to discover that they were symptoms of trauma. And that led me to discover that I had complex trauma. Panic attacks suck, too. During these long years of trauma recovery, I’ve had to accept many parts of myself that I didn’t particularly like. I’ve had to make adjustments to my life because, suddenly, I no longer felt safe in open spaces. I became more afraid of flying than I used to be. I had to accept certain limitations and use my creativity to find new ways of doing things. I had to learn about boundaries, and most importantly, how to respect myself. It hasn’t been easy, because trauma recovery isn’t linear. But strangely enough, it can also be kind of fun. You never know when those little sparks of living might appear. For a long time, I thought of my…

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