chronic illness and personal time

When I have a random flare up of my chronic illnesses (or my treatment stops working), my free time is no longer something I have much control over. It's constrained and controlled by illness management. Most of it is dedicated to doing the bare minimum, getting myself through the day, distracting myself, managing pain, and resting - it's what I have to do to either endure it or not worsen it. That's a very common experience for basically all chronically ill people. From the outside it looks like self care, like some really good me-time: Taking baths, napping, scrolling, getting massages, immersing yourself in something easy you can handle right now, for hours a day, weeks, taking it slow and not doing much. Like retreating into your own cocoon. People in your life are waiting on you to reemerge better and ready to go; you got your fill of lonesome me-time after all. From the inside, it's different: You feel limited in what you can do and how much of it, so the things you do are the…

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