On Giving Advice To People Trapped In Suffering (it's not a good idea)

This is something of a response to Jenn's post about getting friends to leave an abusive relationship. I don't have any experience with that particular situation, but the article reminded me of patterns that I've seen, both in myself and in other people. You can't fix someone else's life by telling them they're wrong. Arguing with them about it will only drive them further into the mindset that justified their bad choices. I had a friend attempt suicide twice over a situation they were catastrophizing about. I had been arguing with them about how the catastrophe they were envisioning was so incredibly unlikely, and required so many authorities hypothetically involved to act insane, that it wasn't worth worrying about. In response, they argued back, arguing that it was still possible, and that the actions I thought were insane were actually not only reasonable, but legally mandated, and the only way this whole thing was going to end was with them being murdered in prison. My arguing…

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