Why Do Modern Restaurants Suck?

New Restaurant, Celina TX. I’m from a time and place where a date meant dinner and a movie. Dinner was for talking. The movie was, maybe, for holding hands. Afterward you walked and talked a little more, then you took her home, and if you were lucky you got a kiss, and you thought about that kiss the whole drive back. I have no idea how that evening could happen today. The modern restaurant is a polished concrete box with exposed ductwork and no wall between the dining room and the kitchen, which guarantees the constant noise of standing next to a car crusher at a junkyard. The chairs are flat, cold steel. The benches are hard. The air is freezing. You order from a menu your phone pulled up after scanning a QR code, and your “server” is now a courier for a tablet so you can pay, usually before you’ve finished eating. (Also: I don’t think we stopped calling them waiters and waitresses because the words were sexist. We stopped because they don’t wait on you anymore. Get the fuck out.)…

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