i don't leave the house often enough

The days meld and mould themselves into one another, fueled by nothing else but time itself passing. Except the occasional punctuation of a work meeting or some other appointment, there is not much to them or to distinguish them from one another. The sun is always in the same place, the loud sound of construction, traffic, and people going to work are coming from the same place, and as I get up and out of bed, and I go to the same place. What accentuates the loop is the consistent feeling of not doing enough, not having enough to do, or needing to do something I don't want to do. The boredom alongside it, binds it, chained in a parallel flux with ennui. That grey eyed monster, siege weapon, that wrecks the walls to let the forces of self-deprecation rumble in. From an objective standpoint I do everything I need to do, the fortifications are designed in a specific geometry that allows the control of flux, I am very aware of the the forces it can hold, I was not born yesterday. These 36…

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