Baby’s First Bouquet Garni

Hello Darling Ones, It’s been five months on the dole and I’m struggling a little with direction and purpose. How do you define yourself when you don’t really do anything to make money? And why is money the measure we use to define something as “real?” This morning Sister #4 told us about how she got the fat raise & promotion she was fighting for at work. I’m so proud of her. She’s had to fight against a lot of Minnesota Nice bullshit and sexist bullshit to advocate for herself and not feel pushy or greedy. Her happy news also brings up a bit of grief. I took a lot of pride in being a self-employed freelancer. I liked the tiny bit of danger that came with the ambiguity of that line of work and, of course, the creative fulfillment. I still have a few clients, but the work and money they bring in isn’t much, which is fine. While the dole isn’t much, I have enough to pay my mortgage. But, the money validated me. It showed me what I did was worthy. And now? What? Do you have any idea how…

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