slow words and meanings

Lately I have felt this disconnect or lack of interest in some things here. I feel like some plug was pulled and the social and interpersonal energies drained out. I have felt more like being alone and doing longer walks. Finding some places to sit in the mornings with coffee and words. People can pass by. Everyone here has whatever their likes or missions are. I personally do not do things I dislike doing. I guess with people I feel the same. Somehow Khmer and expat people exhaust me. The forever socializing something like this wedding party coming up scares the shit out of me. People I don’t know want to know me. I’m the token barang or so. Some speak no English so my wife translates. Thank goodness they get tired of all that and wander away. I just sit politely and wish to be a few light years distant. I have never been a social animal. When I worked I had a few professional colleagues that would refer to me as friend. I never quite felt that way. They just seemed like people I was…

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