How To Get A Friend Out Of An Abusive Relationship

How do you get a friend out of an abusive relationship? If you talk to people who work at women's shelters, they will tell you, but there is something resigned about the way they do it: they know that it's too difficult an ask. Most people who can do it reliably are those who are unlucky enough to have had first-hand experience as victims. The instructions have anti-memetic properties: no one is thrilled by them, so you can't really propagate them without killing the vibe. If that wasn't enough, if you convey it with insufficient skill it is easy to come across as victim-blaming battered women1, so it is wiser to avoid the subject matter altogether. If you are interested, though, here's what they'll tell you: You make it known to your friend early on that you dislike some aspects of the relationship, of their abuser. After that, you support them and all their choices without reservation. You make it clear that you care about them no matter what, and you will be there for them whenever…

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