Madhouse Miniatures’ eulogy for the Tesla Cybertruck

Here’s an editorial I wish I wrote, but it appeared as a post on the Madhouse Minatures Facebook page. They’re into cars, and they don’t hold back in their eulogy for the late, not-so-great Tesla Cybertruck, reproduced in full below, punctuated by some pictures of Cybertrucks that I included. We gather today to mourn the death of an idea.Specifically, the idea that you could buy a stainless steel trapezoid and everyone would immediately recognize you as the smartest, toughest, most independent thinker in the Costco parking lot. The Cybertruck promised us the future. Evidently, the future was a commercial ice machine with custody of the kids every other weekend. And people made it their entire fucking identity.You couldn’t just own one. You had to become its attorney. Every parking lot became a press conference. Every conversation became a shareholder meeting. Somebody would say “That thing looks stupid,” and suddenly you were 20 minutes into a lecture about manufacturing efficiencies…

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