Touching My Upper Colon

Bidet.I broke my bidet at my parents house. Let me explain. The bidet has 2 settings. Butthole - Single jet of water, aimed at your butthole. Pussy - Shower jet, power washes your balls and gooch. I do not have a pussy, nor do I need the back of my balls sprayed protest-style. I decided to hook up a douche hose on the pussy sprayer instead (to make it actually useful for me). Hose went on surprisingly easy, and I turned the knob on the bidet to see if it worked. It didn't. The rubber gasket blocks the water from entering the hose on the now-beheaded nozzle. The original pussy sprayer now sprays a fork of water; one with such pressure that it exits the toilet seat and soaks the shower curtain and trash can. In my tinkering, I also twisted the butthole cleaner (separate nozzle) to see if it was any different. It's now stuck at an angle that also sprays water all over the side of the toilet seat. Now I have a bidet that cleans neither ball nor hole, but curtain and floor. Rubber.I can…

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