Lying and Not Lying to Kids

I have very strong views on lying to kids: I think you both should and shouldn't do it. "Lying" covers a range, including saying things that hurt your kids and your relationship with them, and others that help them grow into an appropriately skeptical adult. The distinction is whether I'm leaving them believing something false. For example, if my kids were asking for ice cream and I thought they'd already had too much sugar, I might be tempted to say "sorry, we're out of ice cream." Or if there's an ice cream truck and I think it's overpriced I might be tempted to say "sorry, I don't have any cash on me." But I'm not willing to say something false with the goal of causing them to believe something false. [1] In addition to that just being wrong: It's important that the kids know that I'm fundamentally on their side, and lying for my convenience would burn trust when they'd eventually figure it out. Kids are building a model of what is and is not ok, and "out of ice cream" and "no…

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