How I got more comfortable with my intrusive thoughts

I have a lot of intrusive thoughts, especially in relation to self-sexualisation. At times they get so bad that they influence my behaviour. For example dressing a certain way to get more attention, feeling immense anxiety or pressure to look good, seeking out validation, etc. In my first relationship I conflated these feelings for dissatisfaction in my relationship. Though I think in part this is still true, I think a lot of what went wrong and my desire for novelty was this addiction to attention and gratification. In my most recent relationship I had a lot of anxiety about experiencing something similar. I was scared of finding other people attractive, or of experiencing this emotion again, and I realised that it did not happen to the same level as it did in my first relationship. Of course, I still had it mildly, but never to a point where I genuinely considered acting on those feelings. There were points where I would get anxious about it, scared of making the same mistakes as in…

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