Eating walnuts. Desperate post, don't read.

Hey, Bear. I was living of walnuts in the period of my apathy for few years. I just didn't have any money or strenght to change anything, so I was wondering and looking for the walnuts trees in my neighborhood. Now I'm eating them too. I feel shit, weak and... Yesterday. It was 13 years since my brother died. My nephew said she visited his grave and said hi. I still haven't seen her since the funeral. I still wear his clothes. I used to have his clothes back to the days and I still have some with me. Sometimes I just want to walk in his tshirt. I had two interviews with the military intelligence, they posted senior android vacancy. It went bad, I knew it will. They need someone with a good knowledge how to hack or steal or broke into another's phone. I don't have any qualification in it at all. The issue is that there is no f way to get from a combat brigade into not combat one. Also I wanted to get into a different battalion in my brigade, unmanned aircraft one, as an engineer. They…

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