#555 Proper urinal etiquette

Just look at us. We blast rocketships into outer space, talk to people across the planet in seconds, and swallow little pills to take away our headaches. Yet despite these giant leaps forward one thing’s still pretty primal around the world. Ladies, it ain’t pretty, but most guys unzip and drip into a dirty wall toilet while standing next to a bunch of other dudes. Thankfully there’s some unspoken urinal etiquette to help answer the call of nature with class: 1. Respect The Buffer. The goal is to leave as much space as possible between yourself and fellow urinators. Take the corners first, take the middle last, and when it’s tight out there use the stall or come back later. Elbow contact should be avoided at all costs. 2. High Shhh Alert. Talking is frowned upon especially in the mall, workplace, or everywhere. This ain’t no coffee shop, people. Save that for the sinks. 3. Temporary Food Ban. There’s something wrong with the guy who leaves a sloshy bottle of beer or a half-unwrapped…

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