learning a step

Writing my life here has sometimes seemed like an attempt to do a few things. Put things down back in America I no longer have any say in. I guess that’s about everything. Writing this morning in my journal it dawned on me we hold little vestiges of things. We need scraps of things perhaps to remind us that life then is not now. It’s easy to say accept. Like to just dial in the acceptance knob. Turn it. Say done with that. Easy right? Well no. Saying a thing like that took me the first time a decade or more. I had finally reached the vaunted step of things when what had happened was then. I could feel like it all turned its own way. Made things into other things and I was let go. Then another person from then decided it was never enough. Being thousands of miles and time zones away really has not meant either I could let go or hold on. Living in Asia my final acts of life has meant seeing I cannot reach back and feel I have ownership or desire of those things. So between accepting and…

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