integrity

Integrity… hmmm… Sometimes I have integrity. A lot of the times I do not. I’ve been wanting to have it more but I often abandon whatever values I have for whatever the values are of the room I am standing in. It is a good strategy for social survival; but it is a bad strategy for being able to look yourself in a mirror. I have a friend who I would categorize as high integrity. Actually, I have a lot of friends who I would categorize as high integrity. I am writing this today because I feel like I take advantage of my high integrity friends; and maybe it isn’t intentional but I still do it. And I think that is the shadiest part of myself and I hate it. And it causes me a lot of shame and self-hatred. At my best I’ve liked to think of myself as a high-integrity person. This year though, with the help of my high integrity friends, I have been shown that is really not the case. I am high integrity when people are watching. I am high integrity when it suits me. I am high integrity when I…

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