Night of the U.S. Primary Election; How Our Parents Stock Their Showers

William, yesterday evening, bringing up plans for this evening (the night of the U.S. primary elections, which could change the course of history in numerous ways): “Mom, I’m assuming your plan is ‘Sleeping Pill at 6:00pm’? That’s probably my plan.” That had NOT been my plan, but now I’m thinking maybe it’s my plan. Let’s find a distraction, other than emailing my high school boyfriend, which I also did. I would like to talk about How Our Parents Stock Their Showers. I could work on that title, but not right now. When I visit my parents, there are three total products in the shower—already a sharp contrast to my shower at home, which has somewhere between twenty and thirty, because I am a faithless product wench and will buy almost anything that looks interesting, and because I find “getting to choose which shampoo/conditioner/bodywash to use today” a useful tool in my depression-warding-off toolkit. My parents have: 1. Ivory bar soap 2. Prell shampoo 3. Pantene Sheer Volume…

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