on being afraid

I've made a lot of new friends recently, and I really like them. I have fun hanging out with them. It makes me happy. After a group hangout, when the night settles down, my mind spins and spins. Replaying things they said, things I said, analyzing my feelings, etc. I've also been talking to a woman - a crush - recently. I had asked her out, mainly because I just found her so super cute. We've been talking online but haven't met yet. I think I really like her - I don't really know until we spend some quality time together. And I also find myself ruminating about her a lot. It occurred to me last night that most of the rumination is pinned to some kind of feelings. With my crush, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm wanting more of her. With one of my new friends, I'm feeling a really strong bond, just feeling really connected, and I adore them. With other of the new friends, I feel happiness, curiosity, reluctance, and other things. The crush and friendships are all still new. My feelings are…

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