CommSec says goodbye to Mr “Middle”

I can’t remember if I told the story before, but in the Before Times™ I opened a trading account with CommSec, the public brokerage associated with Australia’s largest bank. Or I tried to, at least. After registering, I got an email welcoming me to CommSec, in which they referred to me by my full name. Except, it had a problem: Welcome, Ruben Middle Schade. Just in case it’s unclear, my middle name is not “middle”! I thought it might have been a mail merge issue, but I logged in and confirmed my name was listed as “Middle” everywhere. Likewise, every piece of correspondence in print and email referred to me as such. How did this happen? I had a few theories: I absent-mindedly wrote my name as “middle” on the signup form, which slipped through. A system internal to CommSec transcribed my name incorrectly. I have family and friends who work in finance, and it’s surprising how many manual processes are still involved. Cocaine’s a hell of a drug. Number (1) seemed more likely at first, so…